“Don’t poke holes in someone else’s boat.” On this episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County, it’s a classic case of jealousy coupled with too much champagne. Emily unleashes on Heather after making a fool of herself at an event and Heather is tired of her “friends” not celebrating life’s victories with her. As the girls navigate this trip in Mexico, there’s only one question: team Heather or team Emily?
Shannon visits her bestie, Dr. Moon, and she claims to be stressed…mainly cuz of all the sh*t talking about her relationship with John. Dr. Moon does his best to “dejam” Shannon and we learn that she is now in business with him. That’s right: Shannon is working on creating an even better at-home colonic and she has high hopes to “turn sh*t into gold.” Can’t make it up.
Jenn‘s mom is visiting, and I have to say, she looks more like Jenn’s sister than her mother. Talk about good genes! Jenn’s mom lives in Oklahoma and since the divorce, the trips to California have become less and less. However, time has passed and now her mom is back in the picture. Jenn cries to her mother that she never meant to hurt her ex-husband (who her mom adores), but she met Ryan and is excited to talk about the future with him. And so, Jenn’s mom is meeting Ryan for the first time tomorrow and Jenn is hoping her mom will fall in love with Ryan’s backwards hats and acid wash jeans, too.
The crew is prepping for Heather’s Fireside HD Network event. She is launching the first lifestyle network and so to celebrate, Heather has decided to throw a party at NoBu. I’m kidding. We all know how that ended… Tamra and Jenn both roll up as matching highlighters in their neon green ensembles and we learn that Shannon is not coming to the event. Turns out that Shannon cancelled 20 minutes before the party, and that leaves the ladies scratching their heads.
Emily shares that she is irritated with Heather. The story goes that Heather told Emily that Shannon was sh*t talking Emily at Bravocon. Emily tried to push Heather to expand on it, but Heather refused, claiming that information is in the vault. Ok, but why even TELL Emily if you cannot give all the deets?!
I have to tell you…for a couple in the press for a cheating scandal, Terry and Heather are quite touchy feely (for the cameras?) at this event. I mean, I would be clingy to my husband if I just sold my house with him for $55 million. They do an excited jig like two little trolls and although Heather wants to celebrate the sale, she realizes the focus for the night is the HD network.
Heather (attempts) to explain the Fireside app to her guests and states that everything on the network is live, but lives on in perpetuity like a Peloton class, or TikTok, or Instagram live. Yea, I don’t get the allure either, but I digress.
As dinner is served, the women learn that Jenn has yet to introduce Ryan to her mother and all the ladies commiserate about needing a break from their men. Tamra suggests a Mexico trip and everyone jumps on board. Let’s just hope Emily remembers to agreeing to this trip tomorrow morning as she is absolutely wasted. Emily is acting out partially from the excessive champagne consumption, but mainly because she is p*ssed at Heather and has not had the chance to discuss her feelings with her yet.
Emily suggests that Heather should put her initials on more things… which is a HILARIOUS dig at Heather, who has branded HD on any and everything on the table scape and décor. I am cracking up when Gina states in her confessional that Emily should just call her after the event to talk sh*t like normal people do, but instead Emily is acting crass, according to Heather. Emily just wants Heather to break into her vault and tell her what Shannon said at Bravocon. As Emily continues her sloppy, but kinda funny, behavior, Heather is understanding that this behavior is purposeful towards her.
After the event, Heather and Terry walk through their house, feigning that this will be the last time they’ll ever set foot in that place since it’s been sold. Heather left the new owners a note and some stuffed teddy bears, but there also happens to be a perfectly chilled bottle of champagne that the Dubrows tap into.
As they sip champagne in their empty compound, Heather brings up how horrible Emily was at the event. This type of behavior, according to Heather, is exactly why she is still withholding the sale of their home from the group. As Terry and Heather have the world’s most awkward celebratory dance moment, we are treated to a montage of memories made in that home from seasons’ past. If these walls could talk…
The next day, Tamra gives Shannon a call and Shannon is sticking to the same story she gave Heather for missing the event: she doesn’t feel good. Tamra then spills the tea about Emily’s drunken antics and Shannon tells Tamra that she got a call from Heather and Heather essentially reprimanded her (for being rude). I mean, there’s an RSVP date for a reason, Shan…I don’t really blame Heather’s annoyance.
In real time while on the phone with Shannon, Tamra sees a news article that Heather sold her house for $55 million dollars. This is the first time ANY of the ladies heard this news. The rest of the girls find out and are questioning why they are finding things out about Heather via news articles. No one can understand why Heather tells them nothing and Tamra and Shannon point out that Heather lets no one into her life.
I’m glad Ryan dressed up in his best denim and camo jacket to meet Jenn’s mom for the first time. What a choice. What a look. Ryan asks Jenn’s mom if it’s weird for her and the answer is most definitely YES. He dives right into his unfaithfulness (an odd choice to start with) and claims he is an open book. Jenn’s mom is a cheerleader for Jenn’s ex, which makes things awkward and Ryan talks boldly about making a future with Jenn.
OF COURSE Ryan is excited for Jenn to go to Mexico…time to fly solo and get himself in trouble? Shannon is hopeful this trip will be fun and before we know it, they are all rolling up to the airport for the girls’ trip. And don’t worry, vacation Shannon is ready to rock.
The women check out their suites and believe it or not, despite having to share rooms, it is up to everyone’s standards. Tamra is the first to ask Heather about the sale of her home and Heather explains how she had to be out of the house in 3 weeks. She didn’t say anything to anyone because their was a NDA and…she didn’t feel like she could share it with the group without being called a braggart.
Shannon points out that a month ago Heather was on her case for not sharing enough and here is Heather, not sharing important things in her life. Emily takes this chance to jump in and Heather tries to shut her down by telling Emily she has been “unkind” to her for weeks. Heather then calls Emily a d*ck and when the Mexican waiter calls this a soap opera, it is incredible.
Tamra is trying her best not to laugh and so is Gina at this point because here are two grown women going back and forth with each other, body shaming and pointing out who hurt who more. After much ado, Emily finally lets Heather know the Bravocon issue is at the crux of her beef, but Heather calls bullsh*t and Shannon swears that Heather was not in her room during Bravocon. Emily tells Heather she is a “f*cking liar” and to that Heather calls Emily a “sh*tty friend.” Heather is tired of being held to a different set of standards and Emily is tired of Heather waving her hands around and calling it truth. For the lawyer that she is, Emily does not argue her case as well as Heather does and the mocking ain’t cutting it. To be continued…
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