The female student says, “Later my roommate told me I embarrassed her by ‘pretending to be more Japanese than an actual Japanese person and appropriating the culture.'”
A 20-year-old female is worrying she is in the wrong for, as she described it, “pretending to be Japanese.”
However, overwhelmingly the young woman has received support online with many insisting she has nothing to feel bad about.
The veracity of the complex tale is impossible to verify as it was posted to an anonymous forum. Regardless of exactly how true the entire story is, the post received over 12,000 upvotes and thousands of comments — proving to have hit a nerve in the AmItheAsshole subreddit.
Make up your own mind about the story, below.
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AITA for embarrassing someone by ‘pretending to be Japanese’?
“Backstory: (F20) have a Japanese name even though I am not ethnically Japanese (My mom is Korean & my dad is British). They met and fell in love while studying in Japan, and had me there after marrying. We lived there until I was 14 before moving to the States. This will be important later on.
“Today a group of my roommate’s friends came over to study with her, and I happened to be in the living room when they arrived. They were introducing themselves to me and when I said my name (I have a pretty common Japanese girl name so it’s pretty hard to be mistaken about the origin) and one of the girls made a disgusted face and laughed at me saying that was so dumb. She said that she was Japanese American and I was ‘culturally appropriating her country as a white person.’
“I tried to explain that I lived in Japan for a while and that was why but she kept insisting I was lying and that if I was telling the truth I would be able to speak the language. Since she put it like that I started talking to her in Japanese (Basically explaining where I lived there and asking which prefecture her parents were from, etc). She ends up stuttering through a sentence in an awkward manner before leaving in a huff.
“Later my roommate told me I embarassed her by ‘pretending to be more Japanese than an actual Japanese person and appropriating the culture’ and her friend expected an apology. My rooommate doesn’t think I did anything wrong but now I feel like of [sic] bad.
“AITA?”
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How the post was received
Overwhelmingly, the comments on the highly popular post were supportive of OP, insisting she was NTA.
“You did not embarrass her in any way. She embarrassed herself. She made an incorrect assumption even after you explained your history and background. You should be expecting the apology,” one commenter wrote. “I am confused about what they thought you were appropriating. Your parents gave you your name, and it’s not cultural appropriation to speak a language, especially after she asked you to. Seems like they wanted you to introduce yourself as Ashley, erase the first 14 years of your life, pretend you didn’t know Japanese and defeatedly sigh, ‘you got me.'”
While another wrote, “‘As a white person’? If your mother is Korean, you’re biracial. Hit back by telling everyone you’re expecting an apology from her for ‘disrespecting your biracial identity’.”
One comment received 2,000 more upvotes than the original post, as it expressed the following sentiment: “NTA. You didn’t choose your name, and you were literally born in Japan. That makes you Japanese, you’re not just pretending to be.”
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However, after garnering hundreds of replies, the commenter amended their original statement with two edits after being educated on a number of points.
“I learned today that Japan doesn’t grant citizenship by birth,” the first edit explained. “Thanks for the info! But being born in Japan, growing up there and spending most of her life there is enough to make me think it’s still part of her identity, and it sounds like OP feels that way as well.”
“I’m not from the United States, guys,” the second edit continued. “So those telling me that I think the US is the only country in the world, simply because I didn’t know this fact, please stop. It’s okay to learn, I don’t know everything. Also, there are other countries that grant citizenship by birth other than the United States, like mine. So directly assuming I’m from the US doesn’t make you any better.”
Another, simply said: “NTA. She’s embarrassed because she called you out and you speak better Japanese than she does. She’s the one who owes you an apology for trying to shame you for something beyond your control (your name) and then not being supportive when you backed it up by speaking the language.”
What do you think?
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