Gabrielle Union timed motherhood just right.
The Being Mary Jane alum, 50, opened up in a new Instagram video about why becoming a mother later in life was the perfect fit for her because it allowed her to “heal past traumas.”
“People always ask, ‘Is it worth it? Having kids later in life? There’s a lot that goes into that answer,” Union shared as she stood in the bathroom mirror, applying lotion from Proudly, the skincare brand she started with her husband Dwyane Wade. “But in a nutshell: hell yeah, it’s been worth it.”
Union, whose daughter Kaavia is now 4, says that having her child when she did “changed my life in so many wondrous ways that it does make me wish I had done it earlier, just so I have even more time with Kaav. I even have more time as a mom.”
Still she believes her choice to become a mother at that time was the right one, “because I was healed.”
“I had committed to healing eternally, so I didn’t pass all that generational trauma onto Kaav,” Union continued. “And had I been a day younger, even, certainly 10, 15, 20 years before, I would have passed along way too many traumatic things to my child.”
Generational trauma refers to the trauma that is passed from a survivor to their descendants. Divya Kumar, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in perinatal mental health, trauma, and anti-oppression work, previously told PureWow how that transference tends to negatively affect the next generation.
“I’ve seen the negative impacts of this all the time with clients who grew up in homes where their parents and grandparents had suffered and had experienced very difficult events, but never talked about what they had experienced,” Kumar shared with the outlet. “Instead, they had this narrative of ‘We suffered so you don’t have to, so you should just be grateful for what you have.’ This leaves no room for anyone to have any negative feelings and stunts all kinds of emotional literacy and expression.”
Union, who has spoken in the past about living with post-traumatic stress disorder, went on to say that she “didn’t really get into healing from all of my traumas, healing my soul, healing my aura, if you will,” until she got older.
“I wasn’t in a place to even take care of myself, much less our little miracle,” the Breaking In actress concluded. “So for me, it’s absolutely worth it. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
In addition to Kaavia, whom Union and Wade welcomed via surrogate in 2018, Union is stepmom to Wade’s children, Zaire, 21, Zaya, 16, and Xavier, 9.
Union told Yahoo Life in 2021 that becoming a mom made her realize “that there was a lot of healing I needed to do in order to be the best mom I could be.” She credited therapy with being a tremendous help, as “there’s nothing about parenting that isn’t stressful. And when you’re stressed, those unhealed things will bubble up.”
Union has also spoken about the concerted effort she makes to ensure that Kaavia feels confident in any situation. In a July 2022 Instagram post, she said it’s “a full-time job with no days off but I approach it as an act of love.”
“All our parts are up for discussion and oftentimes, scorn. I want Kaav to feel beautiful and powerful in EVERY room she walks into no matter who is standing next to her,” the Bring It On star shared. “Her beauty, her power, her love, is HERS. I want her to be free of Eurocentric beauty ideals and embrace all our glory.”
