This week on the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City the ladies will literally get a bad rap delivered by our resident housewife Lisa who is self-coined Baby Gorgeous. Let us test her rapping skills, shall we?
Heather is planning another book event which will be more casual, but she will make sure to serve drinks and some food. She might want to re-think ever wearing that ill-fitting red leather dress! Heather is not only suffering from being a bad Mormon, but girl fix the fashion!
Whitney has Lisa come over to basically let Lisa defend her behavior at the Prism event. She first lets Lisa know that she has been so tired over the last few days since she has been putting on so many events because Justin has a full-time job. Whitney, my bobble headed darling, welcome to all our worlds! Heather calls while they are together and Lisa lets her know she is with her bestie. She wants Lisa to introduce her at her book event and she can even sing.
Whitney wants to know what the f*ck happened between her and Monica at her Prism event. Duh, you are filming a show where bad behavior is rewarded! Whit does not care who started it but she thinks they are grown woman who should know how to exercise self-control. She is more upset with Lisa since she knows more about her “brand” and journey. Lisa does not like being schooled by someone who talks like they are three years old, and Whit needs to up her game and quit being cheap with cash bars.
Lisa questions Angie’s friendship with Monica. Whitney believes that Angie placates Lisa, and she is triggered by their friendship. She thinks that Lisa cannot take criticism if you do not agree with her perspective. Whit tells Lisa to watch her swearing in her home since her son Brooks is listening. She acts like this is a house of no swearing —but semi-naked painting and pole dancing is kid friendly. Whit keeps repeating to Lisa like she is a child “Do you understand?” and Lisa is annoyed but must respond repeatedly “It is understood.”
Mary has Heather come over under duress for some abuse no doubt. LOL I cannot believe that this is how she is spending her congregation’s hard-earned money on Dr. Seuss themes infused with Willy Wonka. Mary thinks that she and Heather have a religious connection. She has concluded since she has no one to film with she can have a relationship with Heather now that Jen is out of the picture. Mary is not happy with being depicted as poised in Heather’s book and she should accept that description because that is overly gracious IMO. Heather wants to know if she still thinks she looks inbred, and Mary holds firm to that one. Who would not be bothered by being called inbred? This is freaking twilight zone sh*t in this scene.
Mer is trying to work on setting up her podcast with Seth. She must get him to quit smacking his lips and pay attention. Mer talks about having a post-nup with him because they were having marital troubles. She did not want to have a custody battle while living in Utah. Seth thought his responsibility was to make the money but not be there as an emotional support to Meredith. He apologizes to her and gets emotional—-but these two amateurs did not record the scene and will have to recreate this.
Monica’s mom Linda comes over and she does not want to let her in. She tells her kids to lock the door because Grandma Bundy came a calling. Linda claims she is bearing gifts (wire hangers, perhaps?) by returning the car that she repossessed. Linda wants to start therapy and Monica needs time to consider that one. She apologizes for taking her car and will try not to be so spiteful. Monica wants Linda to leave her car in the driveway and walk back to her house. Linda walks home wearing what appear to be Burberry pajamas! Side Note: These two still have not resolved their issues since the Easter brunch makes me conclude this messy relationship has no business on TV. This relationship is unwatchable and these two have a dynamic that is twisted and gross.
Heather is having her book signing event. She shares that she sells out her venues for her book. Lisa arrives and she likes the vibe of the event. WTF is Angie wearing? It looks like she has braid antennas sticking out of her head while donning an orange catsuit for a book signing? Angie is pouting since Lisa has not called her since they she lets Lisa talk 100 times a day. Monica arrives and shadily wants a drink without Vida tequila. She informs Meredith that she and Lisa got into a nasty feud at Whit’s event. Monica does not own that she was an active participant in this feud.
Lisa will be singing for the group her “hit” single Away in the Manger while Monica and Angie snicker. She has convinced herself that she can sing in front of others and tries to ignore the haters. Lisa decides to quit while she is not quite a head— but sort of —and Heather comes out in her choir robe joined by a legit choir. Heather has Lisa deliver a Mormon rap and even Meredith gives her props for trying but does not see a future in hip hop for Baby Gorgeous—which would make a good stage name if you ask me.
Heather talks about her journey in Mormonism. She did not set out to be a bad Mormon but living the life has altered her views on it. Heather describes how she encountered a young man who was just like her back in the day, and she told him she would be a safe space if he needed it. Monica recalls her mom and the influence of the mercenaries who came into her home. Is she sure that was not Child Protective Services masquerading as mercenaries? Lisa and Heather talk about Jack’s journey and she wants her personal experience to be validated. She finally does not equate Jack’s experience to what she went through.
Angie confronts Meredith on threatening to expose her family. Meredith back pedals and says now she could hurt her family with the information she has —if she chose to. Meredith dips out again and this silly fight is finally put to rest—hopefully.
Heather and her daughters chat about the emotional journey that they went through putting this book out. She is appreciative to her girls for supporting her while dealing with some bullying at school. Heather is going to write another book to elaborate on her journey and her girls support their mom’s endeavor.
Lisa has Angie over and wants to find out where their friendship stands. She lets her know that she has been troubled after attending the last few events since Monica keeps poking at Baby Gorgeous. Angie assures Lisa that she is not taking up for Monica, but they did talk out the issue about the affair rumors. Lisa was not aware they had worked it out. She must keep rolling out her new catchphrase “The ocular does not match the words.”
Angie takes full responsibility and will try to stop being so wishy washy. She reminds Lisa that she seems to be triggered by her relationships with the other ladies. They both agree to move on and be more transparent with each other. Lisa assures Angie that she can have friendships outside of their relationship —-but is that true?
TELL US — THOUGHTS ON THIS RHOSLC EPISODE?
