Let us rejoin our Real Housewives of Miami as they navigate Ana-drama! Will Nicole still be held accountable for inviting Ana to stir the Mamacita pot? Grab a glass of your favorite bubbly and let us watch!
Alexia is pretending like she is personally packing up her huge condominium carrying one U-Haul box. She keeps stressing over not having much time to pack but has not made any process. Frankie can even recognize that his mother has accumulated a ridiculous amount of purses and there is a lot of work to be done.
Marysol and Steve are waiting for a medium to come over to their home since she has been sensing a presence in her home—she hopes it is just rodents not miserable spirits. We get to meet Steve’s two sons who are very handsome young men. Marysol lets us know she is no stepmom but more like a big sister to them. She thought when she was in her 40’s she could still have had kids but found out her one egg had dried up like a raisin. Marysol should be thankful she has Steve and his sons in her life.
Marysol lets us know she gets her spiritual side from Mama Elsa (who referred to herself as a witch), and I love it when they show these old clips. Production shows a great clip of Mama Elsa asking Larsa what she worries about (she says her kids) and Mama Elsa tells her that it is men. Larsa denies it of course and has not changed in that respect but she looks now so dramatically different it is unsettling to see how she messed up her face.
Guerdy has Russell at her disposal and he is a great nurse. She keeps making requests to him and he just wants her to give him a full list instead of making him run up and down stairs. Julia and Nicole pay her a visit and they sit on her bed talking about the crazy brunch. Nicole gets emotional when she describes how Alexia and Marysol always seem to target her and never give her the benefit of the doubt. She is expecting Adriana to own her part of inviting Ana. Guerdy gets a text invite at that exact moment from Marysol to attend her product party, but Nicole is left off the guest list. Nicole wants no part of group events after that brunch unless they make amends with her. Julia recognizes that she needs to intervene and let them know Nicole was not part of the Ana drama.
Lisa takes Logan to the bank and he looks adorable in his blue suit. Logan wants to open a bank account and deposit his $440. Lisa suggests he needs to save his coins since he might have to live in a three thousand square foot home. She is proving the other ladies’ point with this scene where there is plenty of room in a 3000 sq ft. home for a family of three to live in. Lisa shares that she worked at a Dairy Queen when she was 13 years old. She also mentions she worked at Hooters and as a go-go dancer which should come as a surprise to no one.
Larsa and Marcus have her daughter Sophia visiting for the summer since she prefers to live with her dad the rest of the year. She claims that Scottie does not have an opinion on who she is dating. Sophia says she likes Marcus for her mom. Marcus calls Larsa out on spending a lot of money. He admits he grew up privileged and he is more honest about his upbringing. Larsa tells Sophia to rely on herself not men and I just gasped since this dolt never fails to surprise with her lack of self-awareness. Sophia, who is fourteen, is raking in a $2500 a month allowance which clearly does not encourage self-reliance. Larsa looks like a caricature of her old self, and there will come a point when her kids do not recognize their mom anymore. Scottie keep them on the West Coast since it is going to get scary!
Alexia and Frankie are looking at a new condominium. She must manage this apartment hunt herself. Alexia is looking at a 4-bedroom apartment and this place has killer views. She must be careful with Frankie and his safety when she looks at the features of each room. The rent is 45k a month and they were paying a lot less in their old place. Frankie does not look happy with any of the rooms since they are all too small for him. I do not understand paying that exorbitant amount of money on rent!
Marysol is having her gifting lunch for the ladies. She recalls working for the Patton group when she used to plan events. DAMN 50k in florals? Alexia arrives and she compliments Marysol on the décor, but you can tell it is not sincere since she holds her head high and looks down her nose haughtily at things. Kiki and Julia arrive, and they both look fabulous. Julia is a pretty lady, and she usually does not wear flattering clothes, but she looks chic this time. She looks nervous when she approaches the ladies, and you can tell she is uncomfortable outing her bestie. Kiki and Julia are both doing Miami swim week and I am excited to see the footage of this event next week. She shares that this helped propel her modeling brand and the photos they showed were beautiful of Kiki.
Larsa is not coming since she is sick— with a sore throat and swollen lips. Marysol tells the ladies that Nicole is not invited. She believes Adriana over Nicole and I just gasped to hear her say that with a serious face. Adriana strolls in and acts unaffected that she leaves Nicole out to dry. Guerdy arrives and looks beautiful after just having surgery four days ago. Kiki cracks me up when she finds out that everything is free. She mentions she is hosting a party to close swim week and wants these b*tches to attend since she goes to all their promotional parties.
Alexia asserts that Nicole brought Ana to antagonize them. Julia tries to get Adriana to speak up in Nicole’s defense and she is shutting her BFF down by speaking in French. Adriana likens them to Thelma and Louise (Adriana in what looks like a white napkin on her head is Louise in this analogy no doubt.) Kiki hilariously hopes Nicole is out on her yacht or flying on her private plane enjoying life instead of sitting in this sweltering backyard with giant flamingos on the table and eating caviar from a melting ice sculpture. Marysol is giving Adriana a pass since she is an assh*le 24/7 so there are no surprises there. She flat out says she has never trusted Nicole even though they had a moment in Palm Beach.
Lisa waltzes into Marysol’s party two hours late like the star she believes she is. Alexia calls her out for being so rude. Lisa does not want to take any accountability for her tardiness since the ladies have been questioning her motives and decisions about her divorce. She tells Alexia to stop teaching her—Was Alexia a teacher on how to create a sugarbaby.com profile? Lisa tells Alexia that her approach is aggressive. Alexia retorts telling Lisa this is not a pity party for her. Guerdy looks distracted since she found out they found more cancer cells to remove. She tells the ladies that she needs a second surgery on Tuesday and that shuts these b*tches down.
Guerdy jumps up and tells this group these nonsensical arguments are ridiculous and meaningless. She refuses to sit through listening to drivel that does not matter. Guerdy regrets coming to this party to get away to have to listen to them fighting over driving your exes’ cars. She is exasperated with them and says, ‘I can’t take this toxicity anymore.” She is dealing with toxicity in terms of cancer and does not want to deal with it in her friend group as they tear each other down. Guerdy begs them all to make it right and implores Julia to clear the air on Nicole. Alexia is willing to listen to Nicole but seems to anticipate an apology. She must not have covered common sense in her sugar-baby course. See you Blurbers next week for Miami Swim week!
TELL US — THOUGHTS ON THE LATEST RHOM EPISODE?