Jake Gyllenhaal Remakes the Cult Classic

I cannot conceive of a movie that is more ’80s than Road House. Patrick Swayze at his most magnetic and muscly playing a “cooler” — basically a very fancy, very elite bouncer, who arrives in a little town in Missouri to clean up a rowdy bar called the Double Deuce, and gets mixed up with a local evil businessman. (Ben Gazzara!)

As silly as it sounds on paper, it’s even more baffling in execution.

Although largely thought of as a ridiculous flop in its day, the movie gradually found an appreciative audience on video and cable, who admired the movie for its Road House-ness; there never has been a film quite like it.

And I would have thought there would never be another one like it again — but somehow, there is now a Road House remake. And it’s happened with Jake Gyllenhaal assuming the Patrick Swayze role. The new version of the film, directed by Doug Liman (The Bourne Identity, Edge of Tomorrow), premieres on streaming in just a couple of months. What a world.

And here is the first poster, which features a shredded Gyllenhaal and the classic neon Road House logo.

READ MORE: Remakes and Sequels That Were Actually Better Than the Original

Here is the new film’s official synopsis:

In this adrenaline-fueled reimagining of the 80s cult classic, ex-UFC fighter Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) takes a job as a bouncer at a Florida Keys roadhouse, only to discover that this paradise is not all it seems.

Jake Gyllenhaal’s Road House remake premieres on Amazon’s Prime Video on March 21. Pain don’t hurt, provided you have an Amazon Prime subscription.