Ladies, as much as we love our sex toys, it may be time to share the pleasurable experience with our male partners if they are open to it. As we know, sex toys add a level of comfort, joy, and delight in and outside the bedroom, and perhaps it’s time to give the gift of them to our lovers. According to Jenifer Smith, sex expert, and therapist, we are now in an era of normalizing pleasure for all parties. “Women should feel empowered to buy sex toys for their partner because they want their partner to have pleasurable experiences no matter if it’s partnered or solo play,” she said to ESSENCE. However, she believes it’s important to talk to your partner about whether they want to use a sex toy and discuss what kind of pleasure they want to experience by using a sex toy. “When partners buy toys without their partner’s consent, some partners can take them as inadequate. Having conversations around pleasure and sex toys can provide more context and more understanding,” Smith stated.
Nikquan Lewis, sex expert, and relationship therapist, believes that communication is key. “The decision for women to purchase a sex toy for their man is profoundly personal and depends on the dynamics of their relationship, as well as open communication and mutual consent,” she said.
Lewis continued, “Before heading to an adult store or shopping online for that toy, transparent communication should occur. These conversations should begin with creating safe spaces that are free of judgment and include discussing personal beliefs on various desires, including the use of sex toys, masturbation, and even the use of porn. Knowing where your partner stands and what they are willing to explore before considering a purchase is imperative. Discuss your sexual boundaries.”
Here are several of Lewis’s reasons to consider taking the next step and purchasing a sex toy for your man, each rooted in the potential for enhancing intimacy, exploring pleasure, and fostering a deeper connection.
For exploration and pleasure: Introducing a sex toy opens avenues for exploration and can significantly enhance pleasure for both partners. It’s an opportunity to discover new aspects of your partner’s sexuality and desires, potentially bringing you closer and adding an exciting dimension to your intimacy.
Communication: The act of purchasing a sex toy for your partner can initiate important conversations about needs, desires, and boundaries. This level of openness is foundational for a healthy and thriving relationship, encouraging a culture of honesty and vulnerability.
Interrupting sexual ruts: Sex toys can be a fabulous way to break the routine and spice up your sexual experiences. They encourage creativity and can transform an ordinary moment into something extraordinary, keeping the spark alive.
Educational: Sex toys can serve as tools for sexual education between partners, helping them learn more about each other’s bodies, responses, and pleasure points. This learning process can be as rewarding and bonding as it is enlightening.
For buying a sex toy for his Personal Use: The need for transparent communication still applies here, particularly as it relates to masturbation and the use of porn.
Empowerment in exploration: Offering a sex toy is comparable to handing over a map to uncharted territories of pleasure. It invites exploring personal desires and sensations, possibly discovering new satisfaction forms. It’s a testament to the trust and openness in your relationship, encouraging a healthy relationship with one’s own body and desires.
Enhanced self-knowledge: The journey into self-pleasure can highlight preferences and pleasure points, knowledge that can enhance shared experiences when discussed with your partner. It’s about building a deeper understanding of what brings pleasure, which can be integrated into your intimacy as a couple and take it to the next level.
Strengthening trust: Once the use of sex toys has been discussed and agreed upon, the act of buying one for your man can signal trust and respect for his autonomy in seeking pleasure, reinforcing the strength and security of your bond. It acknowledges that personal satisfaction is a vital component of overall sexual well-being and that you support his journey towards it.
Reducing performance pressure: Having a means for personal satisfaction can alleviate the pressure to “perform” during partnered sex, making intimate encounters more about connection and less about performance, enhancing the overall experience.
It’s also important to consider the potential downfalls as well. Below, Lewis lists some reasons why you might want to stray away from purchasing a sex toy for your man.
Against Buying a Sex Toy for His Personal Use:
Potential for misunderstanding: If not approached clearly, the gesture might be misinterpreted as dissatisfaction or a critique of your sexual relationship. Such a gift must be framed within the context of enhancing personal pleasure and not as a substitute for intimacy.
Dependency concerns: There’s a somewhat complex debate around whether using sex toys can lead to a form of dependency for achieving pleasure. While largely unfounded, ensuring both partners are comfortable and on the same page is worth discussing. All things are in moderation, and be sure to communicate, communicate, communicate.
In essence, introducing a sex toy into the dynamic should be a decision made with thoughtfulness, care, respect, and mutual excitement. It’s about enhancing your connection and enriching your shared sexual experience. Whether you purchase a sex toy for your man or not, the key lies in communication, consent, and a shared desire to explore the dimensions of your intimacy together.
Potential sex toys to consider:
Satisfyer Power Ring Cock Ring
Gawk Gawk 3000 Newest Version Mens Masturbation Toy
TENGA Easy Beat Egg Cool Edition Men Masturbation Portable Pleasure Device
