“Trauma and codependency, I feel like go hand in hand a lot of times and so that was something for me that I really had to work on. And I still work on it and I’m still very codependent,” Savannah admitted.
Savannah Chrisley is getting candid about her relationships with men.
During an episode of her Unlocked podcast, the Chrisley Knows Best alum said she’s noticed an unhealthy pattern of codependent behavior when it comes to the men in her life — particularly when it comes to her father, Todd Chrisley, and since-deceased ex, Nic Kerdiles.
While reading from her “secret diary,” Savannah told listeners, “Trauma and codependency, I feel like go hand in hand a lot of times and so that was something for me that I really had to work on. And I still work on it and I’m still very codependent.”
Describing it as a “pattern of painful dependency on compulsive behaviors and approval from others in an attempt to find safety, self-worth and identity,” Savannah explained that she had a tendency to “slam people” with her codependency.
Continuing to delve into the topic, Savannah said most codependent people aren’t aware that their behavior is not only harmful to them, but can cause “collateral damage” and impact those around them.
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One example the 26-year-old reality star cited, was how she’d previously done “everything” for her younger brother, Grayson, 17, almost to her own detriment, in an effort to spare him the trauma she felt in her own childhood.
Savannah has had to step in and raise Grayson and Chloe, 11, after being granted custody of her siblings when dad Todd and mom Julie were sentenced to prison for bank and tax fraud.
“There are no boundaries in codependency. And that’s the thing, it’s like there’s no distinction between you, me and us,” she explained, before sharing how she was able to identify the codependent patterns in her male relationships. “When I was speaking about codependency, it was between like me and my dad’s relationship, me and Nic’s relationship. Like codependency really shows up in like the male relationships in my life.”
After some “inner work,” Savannah said she’s now aware of how important it is to have an identity that is solely her own. The internet personality said she hopes that, through this work, she can facilitate healthier growth in her relationships — with men and otherwise.
“So by me taking accountability for my own things and having a conversation with someone, instead of it being like a blame game, it’s like, ‘Hey, I really hope that my experience will help us.’ So you’re not blaming,” Savannah added.
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Therapy has also helped Savannah work through some of the more complicated dynamics that have arisen in her family as she takes on the role of parent and copes with having her own parents behind bars.
“I’ve been very open about my family dynamics, and I am not great at grace,” she admitted to her listeners. “There are some things I’m just not great at when it comes to, like, people who have wronged me. But also, understanding your family of origin allows you to have more grace.”
Savannah noted that she was able to get that “grace” once she moved past the “picture-perfect image” of her family that was portrayed on their reality series.
“The moment you see it for what it is, this is the moment you’re allowed to even give yourself grace for your feelings towards people or the situation, which is hard,” Savannah explained.
