For Nico Tortorella, starring in The Mattachine Family was more than just a job — it was therapy.
Directed by Andrew Vallentine, the film follows Thomas (Tortorella) and Oscar (Juan Pablo Di Pace), a happily married gay couple who find themselves at a crossroads after their first foster child returns to his birth mother. Thomas — initially somewhat disinterested in parenthood — grapples with saying goodbye which leads him to realize how much he wants to be a father. Oscar, meanwhile, finds himself more focused on his budding career.
It is a personal story of Vallentine’s, born out of “real conversations” the director had with his own husband around fatherhood and what “it looks like for two gay men.” Tortorella also found himself surprisingly drawn to Thomas’ story, if not for a slightly different reason; it allowed him to process the infertility struggles he was facing with his wife, Bethany Meyers.
“I read the script and it was really emotional for me. I saw so much of myself in this story. My own experience, my own journey,” Tortorella, 35, exclusively told Us Weekly while discussing the film. “And at home I was the rock in so many ways, just having to hold down the fort while Bethany was able to experience the emotional upheaval of infertility. I was very much the big picture dreamer. Like, ‘It’s going to happen no matter what.’ No questions asked. And when I got onto set for this movie, I was able to experience everything that I was closeting, so to speak, at home. I got to cry like over and over and over again and long for this spirit of this child that I had been channeling for the last year plus.”
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After more than a year of trying to get pregnant, the pair ultimately welcomed their first child, daughter Kilmer Dove, in March 2023. In April, the couple announced they are expecting their second little one, due in October.
The Mattachine Family was filmed over a short “20 some odd days” period in fall 2021. Looking back now, Tortorella believes the role of Thomas “prepped [them] to be a father” more than he could have imagined.
“I got to experience the lowest of lows on this film and the highest of highs in a really short amount of time,” he explained. “Like, it was a f—king emotional Olympics. It was a marathon to do this whole thing every single day, going from really funny scenes to really emotional scenes within hours. And the big takeaway for me was parenthood changes you. When it is an absolute, when you know you need it and you get there, you’re a different person coming out of it.”
Much like Thomas, fatherhood has “changed everything” for Tortorella, who told Us he is “not the same person” they were before Kilmer Dove arrived into the world.
“My priorities, the wishes, dreams, my art, the work, how I’m planning for the future, my home life, where I go, where I live, who I spend time with, nothing is the same,” the actor said. Tortorella noted that he “wouldn’t change” their new life for anything before adding, “That’s not to say that it’s not really f—king hard sometimes because it is.”
The lows, however, are nothing compared to the highs. Tortorella and Meyers “haven’t had a babysitter in a year and three months,” instead choosing to spend “every day” with their daughter, which Tortorella referred to as time he “couldn’t buy if I wanted to.”
“It’s been such a dream to be able to spend this much time with my family and really like, set the foundation,” he explained. “This is who we are and this is how we hold space for each other. And this is where we’re going.”
Parenthood has clearly become the priority, but that doesn’t mean Tortorella’s passion for his work has dwindled. It’s why the actor can see himself in both Thomas and Oscar: he relates to both points of view.
“There’s this like life-work balance, right? One of them’s an actor, one of them wants to have a baby. I understand both of those things very, very well. And so I was able to see both perspectives while we were shooting,” Tortorella explained, adding that he believes both characters — who end up calling it quits over their disconnect — are “right” for putting themselves first.
Although some may see the characters’ split as a lack of a happy ending, Tortorella highlighted the realism in The Mattachine Family’s story, noting that people are allowed to “grow apart” throughout their lives. “It’s not something we talk about or really accept in our society, but it’s OK. People are allowed to find their own paths, so to speak,” he said.
The film does leave Thomas and Oscar’s future up to interpretation, as Thomas — with his new baby daughter Eve — shows up at a diner to meet who viewers can only assume is Oscar in the final scene. Growing apart in order to grow back together is another thing, Tortorella said, that he can relate to his own life.
“If I look at my own relationship with Bethany, I mean, we’re going on 19 years now of choosing our own path consistently every single day as individuals. And it wasn’t until we started trying to make a baby that we really had to be on the same road and direct all of our energy towards one specific goal,” he said. “And family changes you in that way.”
Of course, there are many ways to bring life into the world, including Thomas’ own choice to adopt as a single dad. “Thomas just knew that this is what he needed to do. There was no questions asked,” Tortorella told Us of his character’s decision. “And to follow any goal with that much pride and determination and dedication, like, props to you.”
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Ultimately, The Mattachine Family’s goal is not to tell anyone how they should, or should not, live their lives. Its message is quite the opposite. The film beautifully details the endless ways it is possible to love and to exist, reminding audiences that despite our differences, we are all more similar than we may assume.
“Is [this movie] for the [queer] community? Is it for people who may not understand us? Is it for parents? Is it for people who don’t wanna be parents? I always kind of land on the same thing, that like this film is about the collapsing of divides and binaries and to prove that we are all more similar than we are different,” Tortorella explained. “There is no right way to create life. There is no right way to live life.”
The Mattachine Family is now available to stream on Prime Video.
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