Dream Wired
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Celebrity
  • DramaAlert
  • Gossip
  • Movie
  • TV
  • Music
  • Comics
  • Shop
  • Home
  • Celebrity
  • DramaAlert
  • Gossip
  • Movie
  • TV
  • Music
  • Comics
  • Shop
No Result
View All Result
Dream Wired
No Result
View All Result
Home Celebrity

Op-Ed: Stop Calling Men ‘Sassy’–It’s Reinforcing Toxic Masculinity

rmtsa by rmtsa
August 7, 2024
in Celebrity
0
Op-Ed: Stop Calling Men ‘Sassy’–It’s Reinforcing Toxic Masculinity
74
SHARES
1.2k
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter


You might also like

Lizzo Slams Fatphobia After Weight Loss: ‘People Bully Fat People’

Lizzo Claps Her Copious Cakes To Viral Hit ‘WHIM WHAMMIEE’

Sanford Biggers’ Oracle Finds A New Home In Sonoma County – Essence

Getty Images

Sometimes, I’m confused about what we’re asking of men in 2024. At the bare minimum, we can all agree we expect men to not be disrespectful, aggressive, oppressive, and violent towards women. When we move beyond that expectation, it seems we start getting into murky waters. The current consensus online, based on the viral memes and blog comment sections, is that we want men to stop being “sassy.” For those unfamiliar with the lexicon, I’ll give you a quick debrief of what sassy men in 2024 are.

When a man is sassy, he’s exhibiting feminine traits, which many women believe are forbidden. To drive the definition home, some examples of sassiness include men doing dances that incorporate waist movement, wearing Van Cleef & Arpels bracelets, or rocking crossbody bags. Another common grievance women point to is men being “too emotional.”

Now to my initial point, I’m confused about what we want from men because we want them to stop being toxic but won’t give them the room to show up as their full, authentic selves. And I think we don’t realize that toxicity is often a byproduct of not being able to be your true self. 

While I understand online banter and am well-versed in it, calling men sassy is problematic. I don’t think anyone should be shamed for expressing themselves, especially when that expression is done ethically. And yes, that includes men.

My highest value is freedom, and everyone, including men, should be given the space to express themselves without being emasculated for it. Painted nails, waist winding, crossbody bags, and Van Cleef & Arpels bracelets on men may not be your idea of masculinity, but that doesn’t mean you should shame them for it.

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – JULY 08: Jared McCain #20 of the Philadelphia 76ers sports painted fingernails as he watches a shot drop during warmups before their NBA Summer League game against the Oklahoma City Thunder at the Delta Center on July 8, 2024 in Salt Lake City, Utah. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photographer, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of Getty Images License Agreement.(Photo by Chris Gardner/Getty Images)

As a mother of a young boy, I have had to learn to give my son the space to express himself without boxing him in within my toxic views of masculinity. He has gone through phases of loving pink, wanting to wear makeup, and trying on heels, and my knee-jerk reaction has been to tell him that “boys don’t do that.” However, I’ve had to interrogate these ideas and be honest about how they uphold the same patriarchal views that I fight to free myself from every day. I’ve also had to ask myself why I’m so afraid of allowing my son to explore so-called “feminine” things. How could I want to be embraced in my full feminine glory but then shame men who embody some of that femininity? The conclusion I came to was that I was struggling with some internalized homophobia, and I needed to unlearn that. I think people calling men sassy should engage in similar self-interrogation and do some unlearning too.

Another reason using this emasculating language to describe men exhibiting feminine traits is harmful is that it perpetuates the toxic masculinity we women say is harmful to us. As a reminder, some common traits of toxic masculinity include homophobia, stoicism, violence, and emotional suppression. We want men to unlearn these unhealthy traits but won’t let them embody other ways of existing without questioning their masculinity. We complain men are emotionally repressed but reject every expression that doesn’t align with our archaic views of masculinity.

It’s critical that we create space for men to redefine masculinity and do so in a way that feels true to them as individuals. And that means as women, we have to challenge our views about how men should be. It’s fine to have a preference, but it’s not ok to emasculate men by shaming them because their self-expression doesn’t align with your idea of manliness. I’m afraid that if we continue with the shame train, men who are attempting to break free from traditional masculinity will be bullied into putting back on the costume of toxic masculinity, even though it no longer fits. And that directly affects our liberation as women.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – MAY 02: (Exclusive Coverage) Russell Westbrook arrives at The 2022 Met Gala Celebrating “In America: An Anthology of Fashion” at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 02, 2022 in New York City. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/MG22/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue )

We also should remember that when you deconstruct one identity, you have to craft another one. That means a man going from suppressing his feelings to sharing them may overexpress himself or be “too emotional” at times. Or maybe he has always been sensitive but has had to suppress that part of him, so he is relearning how to be himself. Likewise, a man who has been told he can only wear blue may explore bright feminine colors to free himself and carve out an identity that feels true to him.

Calling men sassy is not just a joke—and no, I’m not too sensitive for calling it out. If we truly want a world where women are safer, that means we must continue to unlearn patriarchal values that are counterproductive to that goal. That unlearning takes place not only on macro levels but also on micro levels, such as within comment sections and conversations with your homegirls.

I have learned to embrace Lil Uzi Vert rocking pink hair and a belly ring, Dwyane Wade and his painted nails, Calvin Royal and his fierce ballet moves, Tyrese crying on the internet, Jaden Smith sporting a skirt, and my son playing with the makeup app on his tablet. Their choice of self-expression takes nothing away from their masculinity, and if anything, it reinforces it. If we have a world where more men challenge gender norms and feel secure in their masculinity, we may have a world where women are safer and more empowered.



Source link

Tags: CallingmasculinityMenOpEdReinforcingSassyItsstopToxic
Share30Tweet19
rmtsa

rmtsa

Recommended For You

Lizzo Slams Fatphobia After Weight Loss: ‘People Bully Fat People’

by rmtsa
May 29, 2025
0
Lizzo Slams Fatphobia After Weight Loss: ‘People Bully Fat People’

Source: Dia Dipasupil / Getty “I think that people like to bully fat people.” – Lizzo Known for her chart-topping pop anthems, larger-than-life personality, and body positivity, Lizzo...

Read more

Lizzo Claps Her Copious Cakes To Viral Hit ‘WHIM WHAMMIEE’

by rmtsa
May 29, 2025
0
Lizzo Claps Her Copious Cakes To Viral Hit ‘WHIM WHAMMIEE’

Source: Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images for Amazon We didn’t have Lizzo taking over RAP on our 2025 bingo card but the Grammy-winning Pop star is currently receiving rave reviews...

Read more

Sanford Biggers’ Oracle Finds A New Home In Sonoma County – Essence

by rmtsa
May 29, 2025
0
Sanford Biggers’ Oracle Finds A New Home In Sonoma County – Essence

Sanford Biggers’ ‘Oracle’ (2021) at The Donum Estate. Photo by Adam Potts Photography. Cradled by the gentle hills of Sonoma County, Sanford Biggers’ Oracle has found a new...

Read more

The Finest Smartphone Gaming Accessories In 2025

by rmtsa
May 29, 2025
0
The Finest Smartphone Gaming Accessories In 2025

Alongside scrolling endlessly through social media and sending messages in the group chat, many smartphone users enjoy gaming in their spare time. It’s convenient as it can be...

Read more

Koyo Kouoh, Curator of 2026 Venice Biennale, Dead At 57

by rmtsa
May 28, 2025
0
Koyo Kouoh, Curator of 2026 Venice Biennale, Dead At 57

Source: MARCO LONGARI South African curator Koyo Kouoh has died at the age of 57, according to BBC News. The Cameroon-born art legend was set to become the...

Read more
Next Post
Michelle Obama Praises Simone Biles and Jordan Chiles

Michelle Obama Praises Simone Biles and Jordan Chiles

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Browse by Category

  • Celebrity
  • Comics
  • DramaAlert
  • Gossip
  • Movie
  • Music
  • TV
  • Uncategorized

CATEGORIES

  • Celebrity
  • Comics
  • DramaAlert
  • Gossip
  • Movie
  • Music
  • TV
  • Uncategorized
No Result
View All Result

Recent News

  • Keyshia Cole Reveals If She’ll Remove Tattoo Of Hunxho’s Name
  • Offset Reportedly Requests Spousal Support From Cardi B
  • First Steps Star Says Galactus Isn’t ‘Evil’

Copyright © 2023 DramaWired.
DramaWired is a content aggregator and not responsible for the content of external sites.

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Celebrity
  • DramaAlert
  • Gossip
  • Movie
  • TV
  • Music
  • Comics
  • Shop

Copyright © 2023 DramaWired.
DramaWired is a content aggregator and not responsible for the content of external sites.

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In