Hayden Panettiere Reflects On Her Brother, Jansen’s Sudden Passing

The “Nashville” alum said that when she lost Jansen, it felt like she “lost half of my soul,” adding that she “will always be heartbroken about it” and “will never be able to get over it.”

Hayden Panettiere was so rocked by the loss that she became a shadow of herself as she noted that seeing “horrific paparazzi photos” of herself from Jansen’s funeral was “shocking.”

All seemed well at the time as Panettiere was finally getting sober from her drug and alcohol addiction after spending time at an inpatient rehab center in 2020.

She was also able to end an abusive relationship with her former partner and was slowly getting back to work, only to be hit with the tragic news of her younger brother, Jansen’s passing from cardiomegaly (enlarged heart) coupled with aortic valve complications.

In a new interview with People Magazine, the “Scream” franchise actress spoke for the first time about the overwhelming grief that followed his death and the profound impact it had on her.

“He was my only sibling, and it was my job to protect him,” she told the news outlet. “When I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul.”

The 35-year-old actress then explained that she spiraled into a phase where she didn’t want to leave the house, especially after paparazzi followed her in the days after Jansen’s death.

“I had to see horrific paparazzi pictures of myself coming out of Jansen’s funeral, which happened in a very private place, and it was shocking,” she shared. “My agoraphobia came out, which is something I’ve struggled with in the past.”

Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder that involves fearing and avoiding places or situations that might cause panic and feelings of being trapped, helpless, or embarrassed. Panettiere also noted that her body reacted physically to the shock from Jansen’s death and that she became unlike her usual self.

“I just ballooned out,” she said of the immediate weight gain she experienced at the time, adding that the “stress and cortisol” going through her body caused the change and that it impacted her self-esteem.

“I didn’t feel confident to put on clothes and get out of the house, but I also knew that I needed to get out and keep moving or I’d never stop looking and feeling this way,” she noted.

“It became a destructive hamster wheel of, do I feel good enough to go out?” she quipped.

The situation remained like that until her publicist introduced her to personal trainer and CEO of M/BODY, Marnie Alton, who not only helped her get fit but also became someone she could talk to and trust.

Panettiere made particular mention of the long walks she took with Alton, where she got to share her stories and open up to her.

“These long, beautiful walks where we could vent and it would be this therapy session. Marnie empowered me,” she said. “My body just started reacting, not just from the working out. It allowed me to release the stress, the high expectations I’d always put on myself.”

That was when she started gaining her self-esteem back, and as her insecurities faded, so did her agoraphobia.

“There’s nothing like looking in the mirror and feeling like you look good enough to walk out the door,” she added.

Things are better for the “Heroes” actress now, but she still has some healing to do as she prepares for the release of her new movie, “Amber Alert,” which will hit theaters on September 27.

Panettiere noted that the setback has seemingly changed her perspective on life, and she’s just grateful that she’s recuperating well and getting back to herself.

“When something that massive has happened to you, you really learn to pick your fights and just not let the little things upset you,” she said. “Because once something so horrific, so deep, so catastrophic happens in your life, there’s not much that can really rock you.”

“I will always be heartbroken about it. I will never be able to get over it,” Panettiere added. “No matter how many years go by, I will never get over his loss.”

Panettiere disclosed that she is also working on her autobiography, which will showcase “the real me, from my perspective.” And while she misses Jansen, she said he “will always be beside me.”

In a statement released to E! News, the Panettiere family described Jansen’s vibrant spirit, charisma, and creative soul, leaving an indelible mark on their lives.

“Jansen’s heart could be seen in his eyes, and his charm in his brilliant, engaging smile; his soul in his masterful and revealing paintings, and the joy of life in his dry wit,” the statement read. “His charisma, warmth, compassion for others, and his creative spirit will live forever in our hearts and in the hearts of all whom he encountered.”

They expressed profound love, adding, “We love you so much Jansen and you will be in our hearts forever.”