Rapper Trina is just coming out of a heavy season of grief. The 45-year-old appeared on the Tamron Hall Show to discuss her first book, “Da Baddest,” and some of the grief she’s still working through.
Hall opened the show by reading an excerpt from the artist’s book that discussed the miscarriage of her child with Lil Wayne during earlier stages of her career. The two dated between 2005 and 2007 and were even briefly engaged. She explained that she wasn’t able to properly grieve the loss of her child initially due to stigmas around getting pregnant as a female rapper and her busyness with work.
“I would cry on the road, I would cry on the tour bus, I would cry in a hotel, but I would have to hit the stage that night. I would have to get on a plane that morning, I would have to do whatever I was doing,” she explained. “So it was something that you kind of like swept under the rug.”
She continued, “I was so young and I was just, I was hurt. I was sad inside. I just [started] questioning things that I believe in and why me. You know, I didn’t understand. Like, was it something that I did wrong? Like, why? I blame myself so much for it. “
Miscarriage was a prelude to many more painful losses for Trina. In 2013, her brother Wilbrent Bain Jr., was murdered in a shooting; he was just 19-years-old. During the Tamron Hall show she explained how the death of her brother pushed her into a dark space.
“But the loss of my brother is when life went dark for me. And to the world, they see it as, you know, happy, smile, and just keep pushing. But for me, since 2013, my life was dark until now. Since 2013 when I lost my brother, I just felt so disconnected from the world. I felt like I wanted my life not to be here.
Trina then added how she was hit with another blow when her mom died in 2019.
“I really stopped believing in everything that I believe in life. Like I just felt like God, ‘what are you doing? Why is this me?,” she said tearfully. “I just started breaking down. I don’t understand how do you live without your mom?”
“If my back was against the wall, my mom was always there. She’s never not been there for me. When she wasn’t here, I just felt alone in the world,” she added.
The “Pull Over” rapper also lost her 17-year-old niece to a shooting in 2022. While the loss has been overwhelming, Trina has experienced some glimmers of joy, such as recently getting married. Taylor tied the knot with her partner, Benjamin Leon Kearse Jr., aka Swurv, on May 22 in Miramar, Florida.
