“[It stays] in that abused place of your soul, where you think it’s your fault the whole time and you could have done better, you could have gotten out sooner, you could have told people,” Hyland shared.
Sarah Hyland is opening up about her past, abusive relationship and the impact it left on her.
Before accepting Variety’s first ever Courage Award for her work in animal welfare and domestic abuse awareness last night, the Modern Family alum opened up to the publication about being a survivor of domestic violence and why it was important to share her experience with others.
“For thousands of years now, we didn’t talk about it,” Hyland told Variety of enduring domestic violence. “The community hasn’t shared enough, I believe. And I feel that if we talk about it more, more women — and men and just human beings in general in abusive relationships — will feel more comfortable to be able to talk about it with their loved ones instead of letting their abuser isolate them from everyone, which is the first thing that they do, so that you don’t have that community.”
She noted that “talking about it” is “really important” in helping those in need. She shared how the PTSD caused by the experience often impacts survivors long after the relationship ends.
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“[It stays] in that abused place of your soul, where you think it’s your fault the whole time and you could have done better, you could have gotten out sooner, you could have told people,” she added.
Hyland also shared that there comes a point where “you don’t wanna talk about it anymore. You want it to be done, and that’s that.”
“I completely understand the dissociation pattern of it,” she explained. “I am very much guilty about it myself… until something happens where I’m triggered, and I didn’t realize that part of myself had been healed.”
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When it comes to overcoming the drama, Hyland said she doesn’t know if it’s something she or any woman will ever be truly healed from.
“I don’t know if that part [of] any woman will ever be fully healed from that. It’s something that kind of scars her soul a little bit,” she shared. “It’s more so putting love towards that scar instead of hating it and ignoring it.”
While Hyland is now married to Bachelor Nation’s Wells Adams, she was previously linked to Matt Prokop. In Sept. 2014, Hyland secured a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend over claims he verbally and physically abused her during the course of their five-year relationship.
At the time, Hyland alleged that Prokop had exhibited violent behavior, lobbed multiple threats, and at one point, attempted to choke her.
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The month before the order was granted, her Modern Family co-star Julie Bowen had reportedly intervened and helped Hyland end her relationship, which allegedly led to Prokop threatening to kill her dog and burn down her house.
In a statement given to Variety, Bowen shared how proud she was of her former costar for coming out the other side despite the trauma she’s endured.
“Without adversity, there can be no way to define one’s character and sense of self,” Bowen told the outlet. “Sarah’s path has forced her, from a very early age, to take on challenges — both physical and emotional. She has met each moment with determination, grace, and vulnerability. I’m so proud that Variety is recognizing her strength and heart with the Courage Award.”
Both Bowen and Jesse Tyler Ferguson were on hand Thursday night as Hyland accepted the honor at Variety’s 2024 Power of Women Event. See photos from the event below.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages; Calls are confidential and toll-free.
