Alex Van Halen has opened up about the final moments of Eddie Van Halen’s life.
During an appearance on the All There Is With Anderson Cooper podcast, the Van Halen drummer admitted his brother’s death felt shocking despite a long battle with cancer.
“None of us really thought he was gonna die,” Alex explained (as transcribed by Blabbermouth). “He’d always bounced back. He had the most incredible DNA that I’ve ever seen in anybody. He could do more and more drugs than anybody and still wake up the next day and perform. I don’t think anybody really thought he was gonna die. So when he passed, it was really a shock.”
Alex pushed back against the suggestion Eddie knew his time had come, saying: “I don’t think he knew. Being human, you think you’re gonna go on one more day, one more day. You keep going forward. But then one day you don’t. So up to the very end, we were still making music and we talked about, what are we gonna do next year? But it was clear that he was going downhill.”
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Eddie died Oct. 6, 2020. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Alex’s direct interactions with his brother had been limited. Still, he was by his side when the guitar great passed.
“He had a massive stroke. We were in the room with him when he actually took his last breath,” Alex recalled. “We just sat there. Everybody was in their own headspace.”
In stark contrast to the wild life he enjoyed, Eddie’s final moments were subdued.
“All I know is that when he stopped breathing, I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t see anything,” Alex noted. “There were no bells. There were no angels. It stopped. And then the room was empty. That was it. And then they pulled the plug because he was on a ventilator. And that was it. And because of COVID and the restrictions and the rules, they immediately carted the body off and that was it. Then we didn’t see him anymore. [It was] a very uneventful ending to an eventful life. But you know what? He fought it till the very end. I wanna think of Ed’s life in terms of that he never gave up.”
Alex Van Halen Still Breaks Down Listening to Eddie’s Music
Elsewhere in the conversation, Alex said he’s still “grieving all the time,” adding that he gets very emotional listening to the Eddie’s music.
“At times, it can be overwhelming, and the more the more I dwell on it, the more complicated it becomes,” the drummer explained. “When I’m alone and I put on a piece of music and I hear [Ed] play, I break down — that’s it — uncontrollably. But knowing what I know about the human body, you just let it happen. Otherwise it will happen in the line at the grocery store. And that wouldn’t look so good.”
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Alex admitted his grief sometimes turns to anger, part of a complex wave of emotions he continues to grapple with. Ultimately, he’s working to accept Eddie’s death with a broader understanding of mortality.
“Ed’s whole life was searching for something,” Alex added. “I don’t know what it was, ’cause musically we could play anything. Ed, come on. Maybe you could have been here a little longer. But then you realize, I have no control over that. And then maybe it’s not my place to tell him to be here longer. Maybe he knows intuitively that, ‘This is it. I’m done. I’m leaving.’ He was never satisfied. There was always that itch to do something else. So I don’t know. I’m still grappling with some of those things because, to me, it doesn’t make any sense.”
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Gallery Credit: Matthew Wilkening
