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Gender wars and dating expectations have been a mainstay on social media for years, and it’s showing no signs of slowing up.
Even wealthy couples like Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union have butted in on the conversation like that time the actress admitted that they split the household finances right down the middle.
Now, nearly two years later, Union appeared on a recent episode of the Balance Black Girl podcast, hosted by Les Alfred, to discuss the backlash she received after making the controversial statements and how she’s changed.
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“I famously said, 50/50 or bust, right? And I meant that financially, spiritually, and emotionally,” Union said. “It’s a trauma response… and 50/50 is, ‘I’m not going to be vulnerable enough to trust you with 100% of anything. Not my heart, not my cash.’”
Union goes on to explain that it all came from a place of trauma and the PTSD she holds after being sexually assaulted at 19 years old. It made her “hyperfocused on efficiency and time” and eventually “fiercely independent.”
But she soon realized she could be more vulnerable with Wade and attempted to breathe a little easier. The actress then recalls the conversation with Wade about addressing her trauma and learning to slide the scales so that he bore the brunt of about 65% of the mortgage.
“Now it sounds crazy to be like, ‘You, Mr. NBA Superstar who made a bazillion amount of money more than I do, you can pay the mortgage,’ because I hate the feeling of releasing that to someone,” she said. “You release that to someone, chaos can happen. So, these are baby steps.”
She’s become more comfortable around her NBA champion husband and worked to expand that feeling to other parts of her life.
“It’s being vulnerable enough to be open enough to know that I’m okay. I’m okay as his wife,” she explained. “He’s okay as my husband. I’m okay in this family. I’m okay in this home. I deserve it. So, I’m trying to expand my heart, expand all of the notions of what vulnerability can look like.”
See how social media is reacting to Union changing her mind about splitting finances below.
