“Two branches, one tree.” That’s the mantra of the karate and kung fu masters in Karate Kid: Legends. They repeat the phrase ad nauseum, as if reciting it enough will eventually explain the combination of two totally distinct iterations of this franchise: The 1984 and 2010 Karate Kids.
When the latter first opened in theaters 15 years ago, it was presented as a reboot. How else to explain it cribbing the first movie’s story beat for beat? Could there be more than one wayward youth who travels the world learning fight techniques from martial arts masters disguised as humble handymen? Apparently they’re could, because here Karate Kid: Legends, a legacyquel that rehashes that exact same plot for a third time.
And I mean the exact same plot. This latest installment goes way beyond recycling the basic premise of a bullied teen mentored by an older martial artist. Karate Kid: Legends also duplicates…
The hero and his hard-working single mother leaving a familiar place for a new home where…The hero falls for a kind and beautiful local girl who…Has a mean ex-boyfriend who belongs to a gym full of jerks who…Beat up the hero in front of the beautiful local girl and then…Challenge the hero to participate in a tournament which he can only win by…Mastering new martial arts techniques in a training montage using…Everyday household items wielded in surprising ways.
Forget about three branches from one tree; this is the first branch presented for the third time. They might as well have called it Karate Kid: Déjà Vu.
Ben Wang in Columbia Pictures KARATE KID: LEGENDS
READ MORE: The 10 Best Legacyquels Ever
The newest karate kid is named Li Fong (a likable Ben Wang), who moves from Beijing to New York City with his mom (Ming-Na Wen). After a recent family tragedy, Li’s mother needs a fresh start — one away from the kung fu school back in China where Li spends most of his time studying under the tutelage of Mr. Han (Jackie Chan, reprising his role from the 2010 Karate Kid).
As foretold by the ancients — i.e. The Karate Kid (1984) director John G. Avildsen and writer Robert Mark Kamen — Li falls for a young woman named Mia (Sadie Stanley) and gets mixed up with her martial-artist ex Connor (Aramis Knight), who demands his romantic rival face him in the annual Five Boroughs Martial Arts Tournament.
Eventually things get so hairy for poor Li that Mr. Han travels all the way from Beijing to help him out — and then, even though the Five Boroughs tournament is just two weeks away, spends two of those days traveling back and forth across the country to convince Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio, the original hero of the Karate Kid franchise) to come to the Big Apple and help train Li.
Karate Kid: Legends tries to offer the “two branches, one tree” excuse for Macchio’s awkwardly shoehorned appearance; supposedly the Miyagi and Han families share an ancient connection, hence Mr. Han believes Daniel is the only one who can guide Li to victory. The real reason Macchio shows up, I suspect, is because someone at Sony believed that casting both Chan and Macchio was a better marketing hook for a new Karate Kid sequel than a film starring one of them.
That’s probably true. It’s also true that Daniel serves no practical purpose in Li’s story and Macchio doesn’t appear onscreen for almost an hour of a 95 minute movie. That also means Karate Kid: Legends ignores essentially all the events of Cobra Kai, the long-running Karate Kid sequel series whose success on Netflix surely inspired Sony to make a new Karate Kid movie in the first place. (Cobra Kai fans hoping Karate Kid: Legends will continue its storyline in some way should adjust their expectations accordingly.)
The only new wrinkle in this Karate Kid is a strange and surprisingly extensive subplot about Mia’s dad, a working class pizzeria owner named Victor Lipani — who, in one of the oddest bits of Hollywood casting in recent memory, is played by Joshua Jackson. Yes, Joshua Jackson plays Victor Lipani, an Italian palooka who was once the best boxer in Noo Yawk, until he decided to fuggedaboutit and take care of his daughter.
As bizarre as the choice of actors is, Jackson’s storyline — in which Li reluctantly agrees to train him for a boxing comeback in order to repay a debt — is one of the film’s bright spots. Jackson looks like he’s having a lot of fun playing Victor. (Victor Lipani! Was every Italian actor in Hollywood busy last year?) He punches jugs of olive oil! He holds glass jars of peppers at arm’s length until his hands shake! He practices kung fu by twirling pizza peels! These sorts of charmingly hokey everything-is-martial-arts gags have been a Karate Kid staple for 40 years.
If only anything in this movie was more than Karate Kid staples crammed into a speedrun of the franchise’s basic narrative. Legends barely lasts 90 minutes, and it often feels like it’s been severely truncated in the editing room until all that remained were the training montages and fight scenes.
Both of those elements are obviously important in a film called Karate Kid — and on a technical level, both of those elements deliver. (Jackie Chan’s stunt team contributed to the movie, and it shows every time a bunch of street toughs try to corner Li in a dark alley that’s supposed to be New York but is clearly somewhere in Quebec.) The reason the original Karate Kid resonated so strongly with audiences was not the fight scenes; it was because Daniel and Mr. Miyagi were fully realized characters. They spent long scenes talking to one another, learning from one another. The audience didn’t cheer at the All-Valley Tournament because it was a well-choreographed fight scene. They cheered because they cared about Daniel.
There’s not much to care about here. Jackie Chan spouts a few Miyagi-esque nuggets of kung fu wisdom, but he’s absent from long stretches and has no arc or concerns of his own beyond helping Li. Ditto for Ralph Macchio, who gets even less screentime. They’re on hand to pump their fists, do a couple of punches and kicks, and remind us of better movies of the past. A sequel that was truly interested in getting back to its franchise’s roots would have known there is more to The Karate Kid than that.
Additional Thoughts:
-Between the first couple of seasons of Cobra Kai and now Legends, The Karate Kid is the rare franchise that can boast one of the very best legacyquels as well as one of the worst.
-I still can’t get over Joshua Jackson as Victor Lipani. Eyyyyyy, Doctor Odyssey, he loves’a da pizza!
RATING: 4/10
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Gallery Credit: Emma Stefansky
