“I emphasize the fact that this still hurts after having four children, because it does. And it’s okay,” said an emotional Kylie, who shares daughters Wyatt, 6, Elliotte, 4, Bennett, 2, and Finn, 6 months, with husband Jason Kelce.
Kylie Kelce is recalling a tragic loss she and her husband, Jason Kelce, suffered before welcoming their first child.
On Thursday’s episode of her Not Gonna Lie podcast, the 33-year-old — who shares daughters Wyatt, 6, Elliotte, 4, Bennett, 2, and Finn, 6 months, with Jason — broke down in tears as she spoke about suffering a miscarriage following her first pregnancy in 2018.
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Kylie introduced the topic by sharing that she decided to open up about her story in honor of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month.
While she noted that she’s previously discussed her miscarriage on her podcast, she wanted to divulge more details because of how others responded to her loss.
“I wanted to share more details because when I experienced my miscarriage, I felt like a bunch of people came forward to support me and offer words of encouragement or love, and in so, they divulged that they also had experienced losses,” Kylie explained. “It is interesting how sometimes it takes you experiencing a loss for people to open up about their own. And I don’t necessarily think that we should always have to be prompted to share what is very, very normal in trying to grow your family.”
The podcast host said she had received her first positive pregnancy test in August 2018 after she and Jason, 37, had several unsuccessful attempts. Kylie recalled that she had a few routine doctor visits, and at her six-week appointment, she was told that the baby was “measuring what would have been a few days late,” but it was still considered “within normal limits.”
Kylie said she scheduled a follow-up 12-week appointment on what would have been her 13th week, as she and Jason were going to be traveling to the UK for a Philadelphia Eagles game with Jason’s family. Kylie admitted that she was “aware of the rate at which people lose pregnancies,” and was “very guarded about telling people outside my immediate circle.”
However, she and Jason decided to tell his family — including his brother, Travis, and their parents, Donna and Ed Kelce — the exciting news. Kylie started to cry as she looked back at the memory.
“We made it a point to surprise Jason’s mom and dad when we were there by pretending to take a photo and telling them that we were expecting,” she recalled, eyes welling up with tears, before pausing as she got choked up. “We surprised Jason’s mom and dad with a video. We also surprised Jason’s Aunt Judy and his grandmother, Grandma Mary. When we were in Cleveland, we surprised Travis with little baby booties. All of these interactions were recorded for memory purposes.”
“I emphasize the fact that this still hurts after having four children, because it does. And it’s okay,” she added, tearfully, before expressing her condolences for others who went through — or are still going through — a similar grieving journey. “It doesn’t not hurt.”
Kylie went on to recall visiting her doctor on “what was supposed to be” her 13-week appointment after they returned home from their family trip.
“It felt like everything went into slow motion,” she said. “And they could not find the baby on the doppler. And at 13ish weeks they should.”
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“The nurse [who] was doing it was so sweet and very quick on her feet, to say, ‘Oh, sometimes they hide down below your pelvis, we will take you in for an ultrasound, and we’ll be able to find them better,” she recalled, adding that she already knew her baby was gone.
“I remember being like, ‘Oh, there isn’t a heartbeat. You didn’t find one because there isn’t one,'” she said, holding back her tears, before pausing to compose herself and wipe her eyes. “They confirmed that there was no heartbeat. They estimated that the baby had stopped developing between, I believe it was nine and 10 weeks. … Essentially, I had had what you would refer to as a missed miscarriage. It means that your body did not realize that the pregnancy was no longer viable.”
What made the situation even worse? It was Jason’s birthday.
“It was a s–tty day because it was Jason’s birthday,” Kylie said, after once again pausing to compose herself as she continued to get emotional.
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“I called my mom and told her that I couldn’t tell Jason because it was his birthday, which seems very silly,” she went on. “It seems very silly because obviously I’m going to tell my husband what happened. And I did. And it was hard for both of us.”
Kylie said the heartbreaking loss is still not only painful to this day, but changed the way she and Jason revealed their pregnancy news in the years that followed.
“Having had that experience then messed with my brain for every consecutive pregnancy,” she shared. “So for Wyatt, we did not share that we were pregnant until I was after 20 weeks. For consecutive pregnancies, I waited till I was at least 16 weeks. I Googled almost every week what the percentage likelihood was that a baby could survive, which sounds really dark.”
“I literally did it for Finn,” she said of her baby girl, whom she and Jason welcomed in April.
Check out the full podcast episode in the video, above.
