spill tab’s letting go of perfection

A chapter is closing for spill tab following the release of her debut album, ANGIE. The record has been a long time coming for her after releasing three EPs and countless singles since her first release, “Decompose,” in 2019. On the making of ANGIE, though, it felt like she was only beginning to uncover new facets to who she is as an artist. The catalyst to that exploration was learning how to let go of perfection and enjoy the actual process of creating, specifically with ANGIE. “I think I was able to put a lot of distance between the music I had made in the past and where I was at that moment,” spill tab explains. “I was able to listen back with a more objective ear and realize that the perfection behind some of my older vocal performances didn’t necessarily make the song better.”

Born Claire Chicha, the French-Korean-American artist has been redefining her relationship with music in real time, thanks to the making of ANGIE. Rather than rushing to release her debut record, she opted to put her faith in her collaborators, learn to be patient, and accept that she might feel differently about her music in years to come — something that she has always found difficult. “I learned to accept that what I like now will change,” spill tab says. “There may be a point where this album doesn’t resonate with me the way it does today, and that’s OK!”

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What hasn’t changed is spill tab’s love for performing, even if playing the new songs live has been challenging. “It feels exhilarating and somewhat stressful to play these new songs live because they’re not seared into my brain the way that the older music is,” she says. “It feels more off-the-cuff singing and playing the ANGIE songs, but I think that makes all of us onstage more present and more intentional. There’s a beautiful period of time when playing new music, where we’re still creating the flow of how these songs feel in our bodies when performing them live. You feel incredibly awake when performing in front of an audience.”

In the midst of her headline tour, we sat down with spill tab to talk about the making of ANGIE, the difficulty with letting go of perfection, and why she’ll never perform in white jeans again.

What’s a misconception people have about what you do?  

This was a misconception that I had about this job before I did it, but a lot of it is just logistics, planning, and coordinating. I spend so much time making sure the tour will run smoothly, that people have the right info they need or are available, or coordinating visuals and videos. At the end of the day, I’m the core of the machine, and I just want to make sure it runs smoothly. That being said, everyone does things differently, but I feel the most comfortable when I’m heavily involved in all parts.

Do you prefer the studio or the stage — and why? 

Both, of course, and for very different reasons. I think I would hate either one if that’s all I did all year long. The stage is the place to go nuts and be expressive and run around and get sweaty, and the studio is the place to get hypercreative and nitty-gritty and experimental.

If you weren’t making music, what else do you think you’d be doing? 

Honestly, I was just thinking about how much fun I had back when I did merch on another artist’s tour. I’ve always loved touring and how you become such a family with these people you might not have known before. I’d probably be a TM or FOH in another life.

What does singing bilingually do for you, creatively, emotionally?

I get to create from a fresh place when I sing in French. It’s such a beautifully textured language, and I feel as though I am able to play more with the phonetics themselves. English is my native tongue, so I can be more honest and more vulnerable when I write.

You’ve said perfectionism around vocals is something you actively let go of — what changed for you during the recording of ANGIE?

I think I was able to put a lot of distance between the music I had made in the past and where I was at that moment. I was able to listen back with a more objective ear and realize that the perfection behind some of my older vocal performances didn’t necessarily make the song better. I come from a choir background, but I am a lover of very raw, one-take vocals. I fear those two parts of my being are always at war with each other when I track vocals.

What are any other lessons you’ve learned in the process of making and releasing the album?

That nothing is more important than taking my time and being patient, both of which are not part of my nature. I’m such an impatient person — when I make a plan, I want to work out the logistics immediately. When I make a decision, I want to implement those choices the day of. I think, in turn, that makes my stamina and longevity muscles less strong than they could be, which is something that I’m working on.

I learned that rushing the process was only gonna make me unhappy in the long term. I learned to trust the producers and creative people around me and lean into them more than I had before, and I learned to accept that what I like now will change. There may be a point where this album doesn’t resonate with me the way it does today, and that’s OK!

Since you’ve toured with it already — how has playing ANGIE live reshaped your relationship with the songs?

It feels exhilarating and somewhat stressful to play these new songs live because they’re not seared into my brain the way that the older music is, and so it feels more off-the-cuff singing and playing the ANGIE songs. I think that makes all of us onstage more present and more intentional. 

There’s a beautiful amount of time when playing new music, where we’re still creating the flow of how these songs feel in our bodies when performing them live. As a result, you feel incredibly awake when performing in front of an audience. After a while, they become part of the body’s routine onstage, so you can improvise and take in the energy of the room more. One is not necessarily better than the other; it’s actually really special to have these two versions of performing the music, and also appreciating those earlier eras of a song live, knowing that one day it won’t feel like a new thing anymore. 

I also love watching people sing along because it’s crazy to me that they know the lyrics this soon after the album has come out. It makes me excited to share more of the album on the headline dates this fall.

You described ANGIE as both a closure and a new beginning. Now that it’s out, how does it free you creatively for the next project?

It’s very similar to journaling for me — I’ve got all these words and phrases and feelings jumbled in my head like gumbo. Writing them down and taking them out of my head and onto the page frees up the space for more words and feelings and gumbo, but new ones this time. Releasing the music feels like I’m letting the musical gumbo go; it’s out of my hands and into the world, and I have this space that I can now fill with something new.

Any wild touring memories, horror stories, or highlights?

I almost got stabbed one time in Columbus, Ohio. I got to play in front of almost 10,000 people in Paris this summer at a festival. I get to travel the world with some of my best friends, and we get to be silly, eat good food, and sometimes drink and smoke too much. It’s such a beautiful time, and I feel eternally grateful.

What’s your preshow ritual? What’s on your backstage playlist? 

We have a playlist called “SPILLY TOUR DOORS” that we play when the doors open before we go on. It’s essentially a massive list of Y2K hits. Our walk-on song has historically been “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado, but I’m thinking of changing it to “Low” by Flo Rida and T-Pain because God, what an anthem.

Has anything unexpected ever happened onstage that shaped your perspective or performance style?

Someone threw a tampon (unused) at me onstage one time. I was actually on my period that day and wearing light faded jeans and could only think that that meant that I was bleeding through my damn pants! The fear that I felt for the next 35 minutes, continuing to play the set, was absolutely unmatched. I will never wear white or light jeans onstage ever again. I later found out that this girl just wanted me to sign the tampon, which is awesome, but holy shit. 

What artists or sounds are inspiring you right now?

I’ve recently been listening to a lot of Spirit of the Beehive, ELOI, the Crying Nudes, Saya Gray, and Alex G‘s new album.

How do you keep your creativity fresh between touring and releasing new music?

I wish I knew. It’s an everlasting search to feel rejuvenated, creatively and spiritually. I think there are just phases, to be honest, that feel more out of my control than within my control. Also, just living life and feeling full of joy, passion, and emotion gives me a healthier creative tank to draw from.

Has your identity or background influenced your sound or lyrics in ways listeners might not realize?

I feel like, for the most part, the nomadic and multicultural aspects of my upbringing have just given me a greater sense of curiosity for the world and for all kinds of music. I love experimenting and exploring, and learning to appreciate what may initially feel odd and uncomfortable. 

What are three things we don’t know about spill tab?

1. I once ate around 15 honey sticks and got so ill, and now have an insane aversion to straight-up honey.

2. I love sea creatures, pretty fish, and weird-looking sharks.

3. I can narrow and flatten my tongue on command (fun party trick).

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