Why I Won’t Go Gray — At Least No Time Soon

It wasn’t too long ago that women were shamed for aging — told they looked “old” if they dared to embrace their gray hairs. In fact, I never saw the women in my own family lean into it until well into their 70s or 80s. My Abuela Celeste didn’t start rocking her grays until her 70s, after my grandfather passed away. Before that, she always sported these beautiful ginger tones that looked stunning against her olive skin. My mom didn’t actually start graying until her 50s, and even now, at 66, she’s still not quite ready to make the plunge of going fully gray.

In recent years, though, we’ve seen a growing movement of women — celebrities included — proudly saying that they refuse to cover up their grays. And while I deeply admire it and find it beautiful in so many ways, I’m not ready to join that bandwagon anytime soon. I’m 39, and only in the past few years started noticing a gray hair or two sprouting up. But this year — and I blame the stress 2025 has brought — I’ve started spotting a few more around my crown. And honestly? I’m just not ready to embrace them quite yet.

As someone who only gets my highlights retouched once or twice a year, the thought of eventually having to touch up my roots regularly — even though I know I still have a few years before that becomes necessary — immediately started to stress me out. To be honest, I just don’t see myself embracing grays before my 60s or 70s. Like my abuela, my mom, and all my tías, my relationship with beauty and vanity has always been directly tied to feeling empowered. The women in my family — especially my mom’s and my abuela’s generation — endured a lot. Not only in their personal lives, but also in carving out a place for themselves in a country that constantly told them they weren’t enough.

My mother arrived from the Dominican Republic in Corona, Queens, when she was 13 years old. Assimilating to a new country while learning a new language and culture wasn’t easy. But one thing my abuela made sure of, as a new immigrant raising four young kids, including my mom, was that she was always going to feel good about herself and hold her head high every time she stepped outside the house. My grandmother showed up everywhere polished. It didn’t matter if she was heading to work or just walking to the corner bodega — she carried herself with style and elegance. She still does today at 97.

In many ways, that was a survival skill passed down from the women before her, and one that all three of her daughters would go on to embrace. While everyone in my family has their own relationship with vanity — some more intense than others — one thing I’ve always taken from it is that when I look good, I feel good. My aura shifts when I like what I see in the mirror, and honestly, most days I do. Not because I don’t have flaws, but because I’ve learned to appreciate all of me — a confidence rooted in how dedicated I am to taking care of myself.

The truth is, 2025 has been a challenging and scary year for many of us. One of the few things that has consistently brought me joy — and helped me hold onto my confidence in these unpredictable times — is making sure that whenever I leave the house, I love what I see in the mirror. I may not walk out with a full face of makeup like my abuela often did, but I always make sure my skin is moisturized, my nails are done, I feel good about what I’m wearing, and my hair looks polished by my standards. These days, that also means being proactive about how I’ll handle my grays as they start coming in.

Like I mentioned before, I don’t yet have enough grays to justify regular root-touchup appointments with my colorist. But they’ve become noticeable enough that I sometimes find myself plucking a few before heading out the door. That’s what sent me down a rabbit hole — researching what actually causes gray hair and exploring natural ways I might slow the process down.

I started searching on TikTok and quickly came across countless videos of influencers bragging about reversing their grays with Mary Ruth’s Gray Guard Liposomal. While there isn’t any concrete evidence that liposomal supplements can actually reverse gray hairs, some studies suggest it may help slow or support the process by enhancing the absorption of ingredients like copper and B vitamins.

It’s only been about three weeks since I added the supplement to my routine, and so far I haven’t noticed any changes. Still, I’m giving it a shot — most of the influencers I saw on TikTok said they didn’t notice results until at least a month in. I’m also pretty convinced that my new grays are stress-induced, so I’ve been focusing on managing my stress, getting enough sleep, and exercising daily to hopefully prevent even more from showing up.

I believe one’s relationship with vanity is deeply personal. For me, it has never felt exhausting or consuming. I’m not a big makeup girl, and most of my approach to beauty is pretty natural — with the exception of my gel acrylic nails and my highlights. I’m not addressing my grays because I feel pressured to fit into society’s mold of what a woman in her late 30s should look like. Presenting myself in a way that feels true to who I am — at least right now — for me is its own form of resistance. I choose to care for myself, to love myself, and to make sure I feel like my baddie self every single day in a world that profits from me hating who I am as a brown-skinned Latina woman in her late 30s. This is my armor. This is my superpower. Because no matter what obstacles come my way, I’m choosing to love myself through it.

Johanna Ferreira is the content director for PS Juntos. With more than 10 years of experience, Johanna focuses on how intersectional identities are a central part of Latine culture. Previously, she spent close to three years as the deputy editor at HipLatina, and she has freelanced for numerous outlets including Refinery29, Oprah magazine, Allure, InStyle, and Well+Good. She has also moderated and spoken on numerous panels on Latine identity.