Friendly warning: This article spoils the first three episodes of FX’s The Beauty. Haven’t watched yet? Straight to Hulu with you!
Speaking in terms that Ryan Murphy fans can best understand, FX’s “The Beauty” feels like a twisted mixture of “Nip/Tuck” and “American Horror Story,” a cautionary tale about the power and perils of perfection with an egregious amount of gore thrown in for good measure. Oh, and yacht rock. This one’s got lots and lots of yacht rock.
Based on a comic book series of the same name, “The Beauty” stars Evan Peters as Cooper Madsen and Rebecca Hall as Jordan Bennett, a pair of FBI agents (who are definitely not in a relationship!) tasked with investigating a newly discovered sexually transmitted disease… that makes you hot. Feel free to let that sink in for a minute before you read any further.
The coveted STD, whose side effects include spontaneous combustion, is also in the process of being packaged as a fountain of youth drug by billionaire nut job Byron Forst (Ashton Kutcher), who keeps a sadistic assassin (Anthony Ramos) on his payroll to ensure that infected test subjects behave according to plan. When he’s not slicing and dicing his beautiful victims, the assassin — known simply as The Assassin — enjoys the music of one Christopher Cross. Just don’t ask him about his affinity for the classic rocker or yacht rock in general, unless you want to hear a monologue.
Separately, the premiere introduced viewers to a sad, horny incel named Jeremy (first played by “Mean Girls” movie-musical star Jaquel Spivey), whose botched plastic surgery didn’t live up to his expectations. After shooting up his surgeon’s office, killing nearly everyone inside, Jeremy turned his gun on the doctor, who promised access to a miracle if Jeremy let him live. That miracle, of course, turned out to be The Beauty — and Jeremy (now played by “Pose” vet Jeremy Pope) is definitely getting his money’s worth.
“The Beauty” debuted on January 21 with three back-to-back episodes, but we’re sorry to report that one of the show’s stars won’t get to see how far down the rabbit hole goes. Despite her semi-romantic involvement with Cooper, Jordan took a break from their investigation to enjoy a casual romp with a stranger in Episode 2. Unfortunately, that stranger infected her with the show’s titular virus, and we’ve already witnessed the beginning of her evolution into someone… else. That’s right, the next time you see Hall’s character, the FBI agent be played by a different actress entirely.
Speaking with TVLine about her big transformation scene, Hall says, “There was a contortionist on set who was a double and did some of the more extreme stuff, but when I watched it, I was honestly quite surprised by how much of it was me! It was fun, though. I was game to just throw myself around and hope that no one let me break, which they didn’t.” (Peters notes that the floor was pretty hard, but Hall assures him that mats were placed for safety.)
As for what this means for her character, who will have a completely new face the next time we see her this season, Hall is in full support of the wild twist. “I thought it was interesting and exciting and fun, like, why not?” Like the viewers, Hall says she was eager to “see what happens” when a new actress steps into the role.
Did you enjoy your first taste of “The Beauty,” or did you like it better the first time when it was called “The Substance” and starred Kutcher’s ex-wife Demi Moore? And what’s the deal with Murphy shows having characters cry while they touch themselves? First it was all Dylan McDermott on “AHS,” and now here. It feels like a thing! Grade the three-part premiere in our poll below, then drop a comment with your review.
