Why One Of Lost’s Creators Was Depressed By The Show’s Immediate Blockbuster Success

When “Lost” premiered on ABC in 2004, the mind-blowing pilot was an instant hit, garnering 18.6 million viewers. It would be natural to assume series co-creator Damon Lindelof was ecstatic about the success … but he was not.

In the book “The Revolution Was Televised,” Lindelof recounted how the blockbuster ratings left him feeling three very negative emotions: “Terror, depression, anxiety, anxiety attacks. I’m not exaggerating. Everybody who was around me at the time knows I pretty much wanted to die, and knowing that wasn’t going to happen unless I took matters into my hands, I just wanted to quit. But there was literally no one to quit to.”

Lindelof said he felt “totally creatively crippled” because the writers had moved so fast through the show’s development process that they only had time to iron out the details for the expansive cast of characters. For example, just about from the start, the writers knew why John Locke (Terry O’Quinn) doesn’t want to leave the Island. But they had no explanations for the mythological weirdness happening on the periphery of the pilot episode. They only knew that the survivors unknowingly came to the Island for some kind of nebulous battle between good and evil.

After the first season was completed, Lindelof and the other minds behind “Lost” got together to flesh out the philosophical underpinnings of the Island, ultimately creating Jacob, the Dharma Initiative, and the entire history of the Island that the show’s first season only hints at.