Let’s warily jump back on the gondola of despair and turmoil with our Real Housewives of Miami. Will Julia and Guerdy be able to survive this crazy ride? Grab an oar— and a garbage pail— so we can row out of this creepy place!
Julia is clearly having a tough time being surrounded by the island of the dolls. She cannot get the image of her young son out of her head. Marysol has decided that her bladder cannot hold anymore alcohol and must take her chances on the island to find a bathroom. She thinks Alexia has brought them to a Mattel graveyard—I agree with Marysol! Larsa then goes on the island and is waddling her way around all the hanging dolls. Can Larsa be used to scare the spirits away and earn some coins when she documents it on OnlyFans?
Adriana has taken it upon herself to find out who owns this place and starts poking around. She meets a man who explains that this place is used for witchcraft. He lets her know that some of the dolls change eye colors and start drooling when this happens. Adriana, upon hearing this, cannot depart this hut any faster. Lisa comes on the island and sees all the hanging barbie dolls that are missing body parts and is uncomfortable with the energy. Adriana claims to smell evil in the air— which she compares to cat piss— which she might be left smelling if she does not get back on the boat.
Alexia is trying to wrangle everyone on the boat since Julia is sobbing at the site of this display. Larsa comes back on the boat and is so ignorant on why Julia is distraught at this site. Guerdy has now become nauseous and needs a garbage can to puke in. Kiki thinks this trip just cannot get any worse and chaotic. Nicole looks concerned hearing Guerdy is ill, and everyone is told to be quiet so Julia and Guerdy can have some peace. The ladies then have a floating mariachi band come by playing music at the worst possible time and you just cannot make this sh*t up. While Guerdy is vomiting in the garbage can, Lisa is busy looking for her best angle for a selfie with the band and Adriana thinks this is a good time to get everyone to dance!
Production must help Guerdy off the boat and they all want to be on dry land. We are now 10 min later and the ambulance arrives and Guerdy is going to get an IV. Dr. Nicole rides along with the ambulance which I really liked after seeing in RHOBH Annmarie not being asked to go with Crystal. She puts Russell on the phone with Guerdy and she lights up when she sees him on FaceTime. Nicole is going to bring a medical kit in the future since you never know what can happen with these ladies.
Nicole goes to check on Guerdy in the morning who has been rejuvenated and she is ready to party. The ladies discuss what happened between Lisa and Kiki and there is dissension in the group. Adriana is getting her glam done and she cannot believe she is performing at the biggest Pride event in Latin America. Julia calls Martina and tells her she is converting all the ladies into lesbians and Martina says Julia has earned a toaster in the mail. Love Martina with her useful and funny commentary!
Adriana is finally getting her chance to perform her music for an international crowd of 200,000 people. Julia is showing support by carrying signs for “Adreana” and is prancing around. She is proud of her friend but unaware of her misspelling in her signage and her cellphone contact list. Lisa, of course, is the last one on the bus because of a hair emergency.
Adrianna is fearful that she will look like a flying turkey if these guys cannot hold her up in the air. She does not want to mess up the opportunity that Emilio has given her. The ladies get to hang out in the VIP section, and they hope Adriana can pull this off. Adriana performs Fyah for the crowd and she is clearly lip syncing. The ladies are proud of her for putting herself out there.
The ladies meet up for drinks and Kiki is getting pissed that Lisa keeps bringing up the juice boxes. Larsa is on Kiki’s side and thinks Lisa instigated this. Kiki asserts that Lisa is f*cking selfish. She tells Larsa she did not lay on her back and get f*cked by a plastic surgeon to score millions. OUCH— but some truth there. Julia runs out and tells Lisa what Kiki is saying. Julia gets called out for being a snitch but she is clearly being prodded by production to stir this pot. Marysol is not in attendance and is laid up due to vomiting.
The ladies head to a Pride after party to celebrate Adriana’s performance. Lisa is sulking when she realizes that the other ladies can no longer summon any more empathy for her. She cannot understand that no one feels bad for her when she ends up in a 32k a month condominium in Miami Beach! Julia should have been celebrating her Pride instead of instigating this fight. Lisa realizes when even Larsa is telling her that she behaved like an a*s and she has first hand experience with that behavior. She does not want to be around people who will not allow her to “Feel and let her emotions out!”
Larsa tries to tell Lisa that she has her back since no one else is as close to her fakeness as Lisa. She lets her know they are tired of hearing about Lenny and her rich girl problems. Kik then jumps in to let the other ladies know since NO ONE has ever asked her about her back story, but I sit up in my seat since I want to know! She shares that she has been on her own since fifteen with only a backpack. Kiki is truly a single mother with two children. She asks Lisa if she even knows her son’s name and Lisa looks like she turned into the doll who drools and eyes change color when she is confronted with her insensitivity.
Kiki then shares that she used to live in huts that Lisa saw on the boat ride. She was insulted that even though they were not up to her standards of living it was someone’s home. Lisa then pulls a Larsa and tells Kiki “I can’t fix your childhood trauma!” OMG she is going to get hit with something bigger than a juice box now, but Kiki serves up the coup de grâce instead with “This is why I said you were selfish, and you know what’s happening is karma and that is a bitch!” YIKES this episode went downhill fast and we will have to go back to Mexico City again next week to see the aftermath. Have a terrific Thursday Blurbers and see you next week!
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