Candace Bushnell, the famed Sex and the City creator, the “original Carrie Bradshaw,” and New York City legend, headlined an afternoon tea panel discussion at NYC’s Whitby Hotel organized by HELLO! and No.7, the iconic British skincare brand, on World Menopause Day, October 18.
The New York Times best-selling author, 64, was part of the panel that discussed the misconceptions and taboos surrounding menopause and perimenopause.
Near the end of the discussion, an attendee asked the author about the idea of sex after menopause, and she confronted the stereotype of women losing their sex drive head on.
“Some women, they’re done with sex, they don’t care,” she said at first, saying they often wanted to “kick the guy” they’re with, acknowledging that many she knew who had been with the same man experienced ups and downs.
“They had a lot of sex that they didn’t want to have because they wanted to keep that guy and now they’re like I’m done, I’m free, I’m so happy, but there are other women I know who had stuck with the same guy who didn’t have much of a sex drive, and they didn’t get to explore their sex drive, they get divorced and now they’re having a lot of sex.”
But then she remarked that several others, noting friends in their 70s, who were just as sexually active as ever.
“Some 70-year-old women, they’re like ‘Candace, I have a man in every city I go to’,” she offered as she took on a faux Southern drawl, which left the entire room in stitches. She defiantly concluded: “You don’t have to put yourself into a box of what your sex life is supposed to be.”
Asked about the benefits of life after menopause, she reflected: “Becoming a fuller person, feeling courageous. There are a lot of things that hold us back when we’re younger,” specifically citing the idea of the “male gaze.”
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Adding that women were encouraged to try new ideas and ventures they hadn’t thought of before, now blessed with the freedom of time, Candace continued: “You’re not tied to behave in a feminine way, you’re free to become a fuller and more rounded person.”
Reframing the post menopause years, Candace told the audience: “It’s a time when in some ways you get rid of these hormones and you are smarter, you are more courageous, you don’t are what people think. It’s a time when you find other aspects of your personality that have been neglected that you can really explore.”
“I have so many stories because I am on a couple of dating apps. One week I went out with a 21 year and a 91 year old. But one of the issues is you get older and you just kind of know, certain traits are not good for you, you can ignore a lot more when you’re younger.”
MORE: How perimenopause and self-love transformed my life and career
READ: 3 easy daily habits to boost your mood during menopause
The inspiring event welcomed NYC-based influencers, journalists, and menopause advocates from across the states.
Mind coach Poppy Delbridge opened the afternoon with an invigorating rapid tapping session, before welcoming HELLO!’s Donna Francis to moderate a panel consisting of Candace, Co-Founder of national non-profit Let’s Talk Menopause Donna Klassen, Certified Psychiatrist and Medical Board member for Let’s Talk Menopause Dr. Judith Joseph, and Board-Certified Dermatologist & TV medical expert Dr. Tess Mauricio.
Tune into HELLO! tomorrow for more from our event! Stay tuned!
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