From a “barely mobile because of her weight” sister to a 33-year-old adult who doesn’t know how to drive — this family was ripped to shreds over a used Mazda and a handful of sentimental jewelry left by a mother dying of cancer
A woman who recently lost her mother to cancer took to the internet seeking advice after a blow up over inheritance.
While a family feuding over the crumbs leftover by a recently deceased matriarch is sadly not all that uncommon, the details of this particular tale seemed to grip readers in the Reddit community, who were predictably divided on the issue.
Read on to see for yourself why this story was so impactful.
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“AITA for Telling My Sister Off for Getting Upset About Me Getting All Our Mom’s Valuables After She Passed?”
“My (33/f) mom passed away in august ‘22 from esophageal cancer. I quit my job as a home care aide so I could become her caregiver once she was admitted to hospice. I was helping every day anyways because I lived with her and my dad,” OP (original poster) began.
“Nobody helped me. She had an incredible hospice team, but they weren’t there every day all day. I cleaned her up, made sure she had everything she needed, coordinated everything with hospice,” the daughter went on to explain. “My dad dealt with things by burying his head in the TV and ignoring it. The final week of her life, I got only a handful of hours of sleep because I was having to administer her medications every hour. It was all worth it to me, she was my best friend in the whole world, but it was extremely traumatic, especially whenever she had to be turned to be cleaned. The sound of her screams will forever haunt me.”
My sister doesn’t even have money for a jar of peanut butter and yogurt, I just spent $200 on groceries for them.
“My sister (42/f) couldn’t come help because she’s barely mobile because of her weight. She lives 10 minutes from us but hadn’t been over in 5 years. By the time she made it here our mom was so out of it that she couldn’t carry a conversation,” OP wrote, introducing her sibling.
“Before she died, when she was still lucid, my mom told me she wanted me to handle all of her affairs after she passed: planning her celebration of life, her cremation, and the distribution of her things. She also said she wanted me to have her wedding ring (cost $400 dollars), her diamond necklace/earring set (cost $349), and her 2014 Mazda 3 even though I don’t drive, in case I wanted to learn and if not she said I could sell it.”
“Well I have opted to not drive and so I’m selling it to my dad’s girlfriend’s granddaughter for $3,000. My sister is extremely jealous (very on brand for her) because she said her husband could sell it for $10,000 and they could get a commission,” she went on to explain. “I said we already have a buyer. But I am paying her husband $150 to detail the car. My sister is very upset they’re not making any money off the sale and she finally blew up at me last night.”
Meanwhile, she hasn’t worked in over a decade and her husband’s job sucks because he’s undocumented so is extremely limited to where he can work.
“She said our mom would be upset if she knew I was selling the car for cash. I told her what our mom said, that it was up to me. She says it’s so funny how I get everything of value of our mom’s and she only gets some of her ashes and sentimental items. I told her I didn’t know what to say, that our mom left those things for me. She hung up on me and so I sent this before blocking her:
“‘Excuse me. I’m the one who busted my f–king ass taking care of her in her final days. I held her hands as she lay dying, not you, not dad, not anyone. Me. So yeah she gave me more than anyone else, because I was the one there for her through all of it. You didn’t even try to come over here for a whole five f–king years. So you can take your butthurt bitter ass attitude and shove it up your ass dude. I’m not doing this with you. Feel how you want to feel, I really don’t care, I have enough on my plate I don’t have time for pity parties.’”
“AITA? I’m questioning myself and starting to feel guilty. What do you all think?” she concluded.
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Her Dad Isn’t Her Sister’s Dad … And Other Complicating Wrinkles
Reddit was a bit divided over the whole issue — with some noting that if there wasn’t a will then her sister could be entitled to some of the property, while others simply threw their support behind OP.
When one Redditor told the woman they completely sided with her and speculated that the issues have been ongoing for years (and not just a one-off over inheritance), she replied:
“See, that’s what I was feeling and why I made the post. I feel guilty about what I said and maybe some of it was just pent up frustration with her. This has been a constant our whole lives. She once told me that the worst day of her life was the day I drew my first breath because I supposedly stole this wonderful life she was supposed to have (spoiler: it was not wonderful). Lately she’s been super jealous because I’m able to do and buy things because I have money. The joke is that I only have money because I work my ass off as a DSP in a group home for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my job, but it is exhausting. So yeah, when I have a little extra money, I might splurge on a concert ticket or a tattoo or, god forbid, get a $15 eyeshadow palette (yes she got butthurt over that). Meanwhile, she hasn’t worked in over a decade and her husband’s job sucks because he’s undocumented so is extremely limited to where he can work.”
She once told me that the worst day of her life was the day I drew my first breath because I supposedly stole this wonderful life she was supposed to have (spoiler: it was not wonderful).
When another Redditor asked how her “immobile” sister was able to get over to see their mom — noting sometimes in situations like that fire department services are needed — OP said:
“She had a friend with a van take her. They had to take the back seats out so she could pretty much sit on the floor of the van. I know it’s difficult for her. I just would have liked even if she came over for one day for a couple of hours so I could have got some sleep. I was so sleep deprived I started blacking out. She couldn’t even stay on the phone with me because the sound of my mom’s ‘death rattle’ was too hard for her to listen to.”
“Info: is there a will?” asked a legally conscious Redditor.
“No there wasn’t, she really didn’t have much of anything of value,” replied OP.
It was all worth it to me, she was my best friend in the whole world, but it was extremely traumatic, especially whenever she had to be turned to be cleaned. The sound of her screams will forever haunt me.
“She had a car,” another person in the thread noted. “Was your father also on the title? You might have problems if she decides to contact an attorney.”
“Yes he is on the title and is 100% with me on selling it, especially since he gets $1,000 of it. I should note that my dad is not my sister’s dad, so I don’t know how that would affect things. Also, my sister doesn’t even have money for a jar of peanut butter and yogurt, I just spent $200 on groceries for them. So I don’t think she has the money for an attorney,” OP said.
“Honey, if there’s no will, you don’t get all that stuff automatically on your mom’s word,” wrote yet another armchair attorney. “It goes according to what the law directs wherever you live, and I guarantee that doesn’t somehow include just you and not your sister (or your dad, if he was married to your mom). You may not be able to sell that car legally without your sister’s agreement or a lawyer’s help.”
What do you think?
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