‘It’s Okay To Be Okay’

A few months after her daughter’s stillbirth, former child actress Alexa PenaVega is sharing some insight into how she’s doing and how her family is handling their loss.

Alexa and her husband, “Big Time Rush” singer/actor Carlos PenaVega, lost their fourth child a few months ago, and she’s opening up and responding to fan questions about the grieving process and how her family is doing.

In a recently shared Instagram video, Alexa explained that it’s “okay to be okay.”

“I feel like it’s really hard for people to see how we are reacting to our loss. Actually, early on when friends were calling to check in on us, and we could finally get on the phone, and we would be okay, it was almost like it wasn’t okay that we’re doing okay,” she said.

“And if we said, ‘Actually, we’re doing great,’ there was always the like, ‘You’re just in shock.’ We have so much peace. It hurt, it sucked, it was awful, it was awful, but we’re okay.”

Alexa’s Instagram caption explained a little more of the story.

“It’s okay to be okay after loss. We grieved. We hurt. But we were restored and filled with peace. Indy will always be a part of our lives. Life after Indy will be brighter because she brought us perspective. She brought us closer together. She made us stronger. She helped us grow in areas that needed growth. She was LIGHT in our lives and always will be,” she wrote.

“Don’t get me wrong. What we would give to have her in our arms now… but we don’t want to live in her LOSS… we want to live in her LIGHT. God’s peace surpasses all understanding.”

More than 68,000 people liked Alexa’s Instagram video, and nearly 1,000 commented on it sharing that they understand her perspective.

“Beautifully said. I think this perspective needs to be normalized for situations like this because it’s sad and horrible and heartbreaking but you can choose to have that event lift you up or you can choose to allow it to bring you down,” one person shared in the comment section.

Another follower wrote, “Grief is such a roller coaster of emotions, some days are harder than others!”

And many others could also relate to how Alexa and her family are moving forward after Indy’s death.

“Feeling this with you so much as a stillbirth mama myself. Grief is such a wild journey, and it goes up and down. I am so glad that you are having peace and good moments in the midst of suffering,” one person shared.

Another added, “I can relate. Moving forward is not the same as ‘moving on’ and choosing to see the beauty in life is a wonderful choice and a supernatural gift that many people won’t understand.”

When a social media follower asked Alexa, “Do you feel the pull to get pregnant again?” she shared her response in a video.

“On the way home from the hospital, I remember balling next to Carlos and I said, ‘Don’t ever let me do this again. I never want to get pregnant again,’ because I was hurting so badly, obviously,” she said. “And then the very next day, we were both in the shower holding each other, balling our eyes out, and just like, ‘We can’t wait to do this again and have another shot at this.’ It’s so weird how your emotions find these roller coasters.”

She concluded her video by explaining that Indy will always be part of their family and they would love to have another child despite it being something scary to think about.

Many viewers shared their appreciation for Alexa being so open with her grieving process.

“I love how beautifully honest and open you are about your loss and your whole journey. It’s uplifting to witness your faith and what God is doing in your life. Much love to you both,” one person wrote. Another said, “The way that you are approaching such a difficult situation is extremely awe-inspiring. Bless you both.”

In mid-May, Alexa shared an update on how she’s doing one month after losing her daughter Indy.

“I just want to say, first off, that we’re doing well. We’re actually doing really well considering everything,” she said. “We have been so thankful reading all of your messages of support, all the prayers that you guys have prayed, we have felt them. I don’t know how else we would have gone through this season without all of you lifting us up in prayer.”

The “Spy Kids” star further explained that “this season is the most traumatic thing that we’ve ever had to go through as a family” and hopes to never have to again.

“We have obviously felt a lot of pain, but also an insane amount of peace,” she continued. “Like, God has really met us in this place between pain and peace, and it really doesn’t make any sense other than it is his supernatural peace that is just covering us and allowing us to still go through grief and to still walk through this valley, but not alone and not without purpose. This season, I have learned so much about pain with purpose.”

Alexa shared the news of her daughter’s stillbirth on Instagram on April 15.

“After a beautiful and peaceful delivery, our daughter ‘Indy’ was born at rest,” she wrote. “It has been a painful journey. But in the pain, we have found purpose.”

She shared that her faith and prayers from everyone have helped her family heal and find peace and that Indy changed their lives in many different ways.

“This little girl has already changed our lives in so many ways. She was absolutely beautiful. And looked just like daddy. Dark hair and all,” her post continued. “Grief has come to us in waves. Moments of feeling absolutely gutted…then moments of feeling blessed by just getting a moment with her.”