Lily Allen Reveals She Had Kids ‘For All The Wrong Reasons

Lily Allen recently discussed her complicated relationship with her father, Keith Allen, and how it influenced her decision to have children while searching for unconditional love.

This confession comes after she admitted that having kids ruined her “pop star” career.

Now living in New York with her daughters and husband, David Harbour, Lily Allen has shifted to acting.

Speaking candidly on her podcast “Miss Me?” With close friend Miquita Oliver, Lily revealed that she had children for reasons she now views as misguided.

“I think I had children for all the wrong reasons really because I was yearning for unconditional love, which I haven’t felt in my life since I was a child,” she shared, per the Daily Mail.

Reflecting on her upbringing, the 39-year-old singer opened up about her hopes that motherhood would offer her the love and stability she had long been searching for and slow down her fast-paced career.

“Also my career was at such a high speed, you know high pressure and I’m a people pleaser and I felt like very overwhelmed by what was happening,” she admitted. “I just didn’t get much respite and I felt like the one way to stop people hassling me, it’s not about me it’s about this other person that’s inside me.”

Lily added, “They did leave me alone, but I don’t think I really understood what I got myself into.”

After years of being known as one of London’s most notorious party girls, Lily made a significant lifestyle change in 2011 when she moved to the countryside and started a family.

Reflecting on her career, Lily admitted in March that becoming a mother had a major impact on her pop career, as she chose to focus on her children rather than her work.

Speaking on the Radio Times Podcast, the singer-turned-actress shared her belief that women often face a choice between prioritizing their career or their kids, and for her, the decision was clear.

“My children ruined my career. I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop stardom, they totally ruined it,” she confessed. “I get really annoyed when people say you can have it all because, quite frankly, you can’t.”

The “It’s Not Me, It’s You” crooner is the daughter of actor Keith Allen and film producer Alison Owen. Her parent’s marriage hit the rocks when she was only four years old, which she said left her with some “nasty scars.”

“Some people choose their career over their children, and that’s their prerogative, but my parents were quite absent when I was a kid,” she stated. “I feel like it left some nasty scars that I’m not willing to repeat on mine.”

She went on to note that she’s pretty satisfied with her decision to “step back and concentrate on my children,” as “they’re pretty well-rounded.”

Lily shares two daughters, Ethel Mary, 12, and Marnie Rose, 10, with her ex-spouse Sam Cooper, 45. She now lives in New York with her children and husband, actor David Harbour, whom she married in 2020.

According to the Daily Mail, Lily previously bemoaned how she neglected her children while she battled drug addiction and faced financial troubles.

At the time, her family was going through a rough patch, and Lily was forced to go on tour with Miley Cyrus to support her “Bangerz Tour,” which led to her falling into a downward spiral.

During a conversation with DJ Fat Tony on his “The Recovery” podcast, Allen said she wasn’t mentally ready to leave her children, and when she did, she began abusing alcohol and drugs.

“I got married when I was 24 and I had a baby, I had a baby who died 10 years ago this month,” she shared at the time. “And then I went on to have two successful pregnancies, and then about six months after my youngest was born, we ran out of money, and I had to go back out on the road again. But I was 14st and did not feel like a pop star at all…”

Allen, who is now sober, also weighed in on the impact of her substance abuse on her daughters at the time, saying, “I felt so guilty about neglecting my kids in those early years of their lives and having to go off on tour and misbehaving in the way I was.”

Lily’s relationship with her father, actor Keith Allen, remains strained, as she admitted in a 2021 interview with The Telegraph.

Their family life became complicated shortly after her birth when Keith began an affair with a brigadier’s wife near the set of a film he was working on. By 1989, his marriage to Lily’s mother, Alison Owen, had ended.

“I haven’t really spoken to him, to be honest, for a while,” she told the publication at the time. “The last time I texted him was on Father’s Day and he texted back saying ‘Thank you.’ We haven’t connected for a while.”

She shared that they once had a close bond during her teenage years: “I was close with him and in my teenage years I really wanted to forge a relationship with him so I used to go and watch Fulham play every Saturday with him and his mates and things were really good at a certain point.”