Welcome to the resistance.
So joked The Daily Show host Jon Stewart upon beginning his post-election episode Monday night. Urging the camera to zoom in so that his whole face was dominating the frame, he began: “Actually, being facetious, but OK. I promise you, for the remainder of the next four years, I will only speak to you in this [somber] tone of voice, this close to the camera. I will be relentless, or, well, they will — I’m here Mondays. Really not even that many, there’s some dark weeks, holidays and vacation; the point is this: You can count on me — for truly about 15 hours of resistance total.”
The comedic host then delved into unpacking Kamala Harris‘ loss against now president-elect Donald Trump.
Playing a clip of a news broadcast that showed door-to-door efforts by Harris volunteers in crucial swing state Pennsylvania, he joked, “If there’s one thing people love, more than someone appearing randomly at their door once, it’s that same f—ing person coming back two or three times to talk politics. Even though everyone from vacuum salesmen to Jehovah’s Witnesses know that’s a losing strategy; in fact, they’ve known that for decades. Let’s just spend a quarter of a billion dollars on it. You know what Democrats should do? Whatever money is left over, send those same people back to those voters’ doors and just knock again during dinner and when the homeowner comes to the door go, ‘What the f— Scott? I thought we connected.’”
However, Stewart did concede that Democrats fought valiantly, campaigning on large-scale issues like protecting democracy. Unfortunately, he said, they did so for the other side. He then played a highlight reel in which Harris supporters and consultants discussed the numerous protections in place to fight against Trump’s fomenting of falsified election results should he lose.
“So it’s all lined up: What are we forgetting people? We got the lawyers, we got the protecting the democracy, what do we got? Oh, Jimmy, did you bring the voters? Oh, I thought you were bringing the voters. I brought the ‘Hate has no home here’ posters. Nobody brought the voters? Where are the f—ing voters? It turns out the election was stolen — by more people voting for Donald Trump. It’s quite a caper: Ocean’s 74 Million,” Stewart said, tearing up his scratch paper to shreds.
Still, Stewart said all of the post-election analysis is really “a delight,” since he gets to “hear about why it happened from so many people who were so wrong about what was going to happen.” Particularly, Stewart took issue with the analysis that Democrats actually went “too woke” or far left in their policies.
“I only have one problem with the ‘woke’ theory. I just don’t recall any Democrats running on woke sh–,” he said, playing a compilation of ad campaigns from Democratic candidates for political office, all of which advocated conservative stances like being tough on crime, securing the border and shying away from supporting trans rights.
“Those are the Democrats!” he said, hitting his paper against the desk. “The Democrats! ‘I gave the police more money than they even wanted. I gave them canes and tanks! I built a moat around the country and filled it with alligators and chlamydia.’”
He continued, “They acted like Republicans for the last four months, they wore camo hats and went to Cheney family reunions. Do you know how dangerous it is to wear a hunting hat around Cheneys?”
Like his colleague John Oliver, though, Stewart urged watchers not to despair, showing a map of Ronald Reagan’s sweep in 1984, in which he won all states but Minnesota.
“Everyone thought that’s the end of the Democrats. But eight years later, there was a Democrat back in office. We don’t know what’s gonna happen in four years, at all. The only thing that is certain is this,” he said, replaying a clip of Texas Rep. Vincente Gonzalez’s (D) campaign ad in which he states “You know me, I’ve never pushed for sex changes.”
Watch the Stewart segment below:
