She better have a college fund.
How did they afford all of that?
I bet they live in the projects.
Her dress, makeup, hair and nails are tacky!
These are the PG-version of comments left on pictures and video content of Black girls headed to their proms. Sadly, the critiques often get much harsher for girls who are merely teenagers. Prom Season 2026 is well underway and while most proms in the Southern U.S. have already passed, those in the northeast don’t happen until later this month and early-June. Meanwhile, glamorous and theatrical bat mitzvahs and quinceañeras occur all year long. Why are adults so comfortable publicly disgracing Black teenage girls going to their prom and being cruel toward strangers who are sometimes half their age?
Some of the Black girls going to prom do live in public housing. Some live in million-dollar brownstones and summer in Sag Harbor or Martha’s Vineyard. Others were raised in single parent households and have supportive villages who have contributed to their 529 plans since they were infants. Some have received full academic scholarships while others will take on student loans. Still others live in a two-parent household and happily opted to attend vocational school, join the military, go to community college, work a blue-collar job or maybe bag groceries at a local big box store post-high school. All, yes all, of these paths are worthy of celebration. And those “tacky” style choices? There are top fashion designers in New York City, Milan and Paris who are itching to recreate many of those creative, innovative looks and will sell them to you for a pretty “couture” penny next season.
None of it, nary bit of it, is any of our adult business. These are teens and they deserve our love, support and guidance. It isn’t surprising when the peanut gallery of the other persuasion attempts to steal our Black joy, but why are we doing it to each other? And particularly to Black girls? We checked in with Brianna Baker, founder and executive director of Justice for Black Girls, to gain an expert perspective on this disappointing trend. Baker founded Justice for Black Girls as an after-school program in 2018, and it became a full-scale non-profit organization in 2020. The initiative has nearly 100K followers on Instagram and takes the business of protecting Black girls very seriously. Here’s what Baker had to say:
WHY SO JUDGY?
“What we’re witnessing online is deeply connected to the adultification of Black girls. A 2019 study by the Georgetown University Law Center on Poverty and Inequality reveals that Black girls are perceived as older, less innocent and less deserving of protection or softness than their peers. Because of this, even joyful coming-of-age moments like prom become sites of public critique instead of celebration.
There’s also discomfort around Black expression that exists outside of respectability politics. When Black girls show up creatively, extravagantly, boldly, or innovatively, people are quick to label it as “too much,” “ghetto,” or now “hood,” rather than recognizing it as cultural production, imagination and joy. Black prom culture has long been a space where Black families and communities celebrate beauty, survival, excellence and self-expression. That deserves to be honored rather than demonized.”
BUT AREN’T THEY TEENS?
“Our society has normalized the public surveillance and policing of Black girls. Adults often project adult expectations, insecurities and moral judgments onto Black girls in ways that they simply do not toward other young people. Social media has intensified this by creating environments where Black girls’ images, bodies, and choices are treated as public commentary topics rather than human experiences deserving of care.
I also think there’s an unwillingness to extend grace, curiosity and humanity to Black girls. Instead of asking, “What does this moment mean to them?” many people immediately move to criticism. We have to interrogate why Black girls’ joy so often makes people uncomfortable and why their self-expression is so frequently interpreted as something needing correction.
We often say at Justice for Black Girls that this work must be about loving Black girls better than many of us were loved. The goal should be to help create a Black girlhood experience that Black girls do not have to grieve.
It’s also important to recognize that it’s okay to have loved your own girlhood while still making space for another young girl to experience hers differently. Ultimately, this is about trusting Black girls to define joy for themselves and supporting them in experiencing it fully.”
PROTECT BLACK FAMILIES? YES, PLEASE!
“Black prom culture is and has always been a deeply communal and intergenerational expression of love, celebrating a young person’s transition to a new chapter of life. Black communities have long created beauty and extravagance. Our proms historically served as a site of joy for Black children and their families in the face of exclusion and it’s operating in the same way now.
We must also interrogate how Black families are criticized for showing up publicly for Black children. Black families are often accused of not investing in or supporting their young people, yet when Black communities celebrate our children loudly, beautifully and unapologetically, that celebration is suddenly framed as “too much,” irresponsible, or excessive.
The reality is that many Black families are making intentional investments in milestones that matter deeply to their children while simultaneously supporting their educational futures. It is rooted in bias to automatically assume that Black families celebrating their children are financially irresponsible or misspending. Black families deserve the freedom to show up for their children without their love, creativity or generosity being pathologized.
I also want to name that this concept of “Black extravagance” is not about monetary spending—it’s about innovation and creativity. We are witnessing young people design gowns from crochet, sew sequin appliques onto blazers, wear dresses adorned with sparkles and stones, grills and hair art. All these things showcase the extravagant imaginations of Black children, and rather than criticizing these expressions, we should be praising them instead of waiting until they become a costume designer for an award-winning film.”
Baker concludes, “To any Black girl reading this—you deserve all the beauty you experienced during prom. And to any baby who didn’t get the prom of their dreams, your dream experience is on its way to you!”
